Creative Memories: Shameless Promotion

Okay, so this is my second post today, but I wanted to let you know about an exciting update in my Creative Memories life!

I now have a website where anyone can order Creative Memories products from me and have them shipped straight to their own home!

If you have a lot of photos, and aren't into the fancy scrapbooking, please check out my site!

We even have these:

Monday Morning Confessions: Personal Habits that Bug the Hub

Now, don't get me wrong, Charming is a wonderful man who loves me just the way I am. But there are a few things that from time to time earn me some gentle reminders...

1. When using a condiment at the table, I don't screw the lid on all the way
I figure someone else might want to use it, so why tighten it all the way? I set the lid on top, so it doesn't get lost, and leave it where it is. This bugs Charming because it looks like the lid is on, and he doesn't want to spill...

2. I drive on the lawn
Only sometimes, and only when backing out of our miniature two car garage. We seriously have the smallest two car garage known to man, and since I already knocked our mirror off the right side, how am I supposed to know if I am driving on the grass or not?

3. I don't turn my clothes right side out before I wash them
I just take them off and throw them in the laundry basket. Or I leave them on the floor... another peeve of his.

4. I don't put the food away immediately after I use it
I'm hungry! I make the food, I eat it, and then I clean it up. Usually...

5. I leave out sharp objects
I really don't do this that often. But every once in a while, pins get into the carpet or a knife gets left on the counter, and oh, I so hear about it.

Okay, so don't make me feel like the only one! I know you guys do some things that bug your hubbies (or someone else, if you are unmarried). So c'mon, don't leave me hanging. What are the annoying things that you do?

I am having a blog block, so now a little something I have been saving...

What My Life is Now
(by me)

It is a phase, filled with little people who need me. People for whom I am their comfort, their protection and their love.
Mt life is saying no to fruit snacks one minute, and then giving them away like oxygen the next because I need to talk on the phone.
It is loneliness.
It is chaos.
It is exquisite bliss and joy.
Seeing their smiles, hearing their laughter and feeling their tiny hands in mine.
"I need you Mama"
"I love you Mama"
"Can I get some more chocoalte milk over here Mama?"
It is never sleeping the whole night through sometimes just out of habit.
It is wiggly toddlers sleeping next to me.
It is laughter.
It is tears.
It is being vulnerable as I watch a part of me walk away and grow up, becoming subject to the travails of the world.
It is not always knowing what to do, and worrying that my little ones won't turn out just right.
"Don't do that to your sister"
"Put the eggs back in the fridge"
"Can you please make poop on the potty?"
It is never having a clean house, and yet not being able to fully blame that on the children.
It is finding delight in their newfound skills or their new favorite things.
It is the following food groups: Ramen, Macaroni, Goldfish Crackers, Cheeri-os and Fruit Snacks.
It is leftovers for dinner.
It is compromise.
It is loving deeply.
And sometimes yelling.
Somedays the smells of the body fluids make me gag.
Somedays we veg.
Somedays we over do it a little.
Somedays I wouldn't change a thing.
Somedays I just want out.
My life now is something it will never be again.
It is changed forever.
And someday these little people won't need me or love me near as much as they do now.
And someday I'll look back and be sad about that.
And then, hopefully someday, I'll get to be Grandma, who seems to have a really great job.
But still, I like my job too.
It works.
I'll keep it.
For as long as the position is open, I'll keep it.

Rolling it Up

Okay, so over the weekend Charming bought a PS2. He already had one game for it, and so he started playing a crazy game called Katamari Damacy. The object of the game is this: you have a big ball and you roll it around various places picking up all kinds of stuff, that stick to your ball (your katamari) making it bigger and bigger and bigger. You then give your ginormous katamari ball to the King of all Cosmos who hurls it into the sky and it becomes a star. It's weird, and quite fun. I am developing an addiction to this wacky video game.

Anyway, so last night as I was trying to sleep and trying to figure out how to get Reenie to not cry and go to sleep herself, I thought about this game. And I thought to myself-- that is what I want. I want my own katamari ball that I can roll around my living room, my kitchen and pick up all the toys and crud and then just hurl it into the sky and be done with it. Doesn't that sound great? So if anyone has a spare katamari for sale, let me know. Maybe I'll try E-bay.

Frumpy Ump

Well, it has been a lovely week-end. My mommy came to stay with me, and I was amazed at how in minutes she could do the same amount of cleaning that takes me ummm... days. Yeah, it was great.

What is not so great, is that I have officially reached the frumpy stage of my pregnancy. I must now wear pants that fit me in the waist but are overly large in ever other place. My shirts must either be too baggy or especially tight and curve defining. I am too big for my normal clothes and too small for maternity clothes, and therefore I look frumpy, folks. I hate to say it, but I am a baggedy, frumpedy mess, and add to that the fact that I am still not wearing make-up or spending time on my hair, and you have, well a Frumper. A Frumperis Majoris. A big ol' pile of Frumpocity.

And so I wait. I wait for my belly to rapidly expand so I at least look pregnant and not, hmm, let's say bulgy. Because then I can pull all my cute maternity clothes out of storage and I can even go shopping for more. Hooray!

And does anyone have any suggestions as to how I can beat the frump? I don't really remember what I did before. That is, if I did anything at all...

My Apologies

If you happened to be at the Salt Lake Airport last night between 9:45 pm and 10 pm, and you were waiting at baggage carousel 2 for your stuff, when it suddenly stopped, I offer you my apologies. It was my son who pushed the emergency stop button. I am sorry. He has a love affair with buttons.

Let the Games Begin

This post is about three things: The Share the Love Blog Awards, The Olympics and people who are mean.

Well, I haven't said it before, but I have been nominated thrice in the Share the Love Blog Awards. I have tried to put the banner up, but can't get it to work. Anyway. The reason I haven't said anything about it, is because, well, I don't know. I think it's lovely and I am more flattered than anything that someone would actually nominate me, that winning doesn't matter. I am just happy to have more readers and commentors. I am just happy to be. So go ahead and vote for me, if you want to, but being nominated is more than enough for my self-esteem.

And so, has anyone been watching the Olympics? I have watched enough to know that the semi-boring events are broadcast during the day and the good events keep you up until past bedtime. Well okay, so here's the thing: is it Un-American of me to be happy when the U.S. does not win? I just feel bad when we totally dominate since we are so obnoxious as it is-- and cocky. I almost feel more satisfaction when another country wins than when we win a medal. Is this totally weird? I don't know. But I was totally embarassed when the United States walked in during the parade of nations and they were hooting and hollering and one athlete was chatting on her cell phone! Go USA. Go Everyone Else!

And okay. So, mean people. Someone (I won't say who, but you can find out if you read DYM) has decided to be a big meany about the Share the Love Blog Awards. Awards that were set up to not put us into categories, except that of women bloggers. This person is offering her own reward for the person(s) who can correctly categorize the different nominated blogs into Christian, Mormon, and Unknown columns. This is ridiculous. The whole point was to step away from this nonsensy-nonsense, and here she goes stuffing her big meany nose in it. And I don't like to be mean to people or stir up controversy, but come on. She needs to get a flipping life.

And I don't typically talk openly about my faith on my blog, because: 1. I don't need to do so in order to feel like I am a good Mormon (which I am) and 2. that's not what my blog is about. My blog is about my Mommy struggles and my silly ideas about stuff. That's it. I want to connect with all types of people in the areas that we are similar, not exclude people who don't believe the same as me. And it is not because I am out to convert anyone either-- I don't know that that's possible over the internet anyway-- but it is because I like all different types of people and think that EVERYONE has something valuable to say and that all people are of great value. I hope you agree on this point.

So there it is. Let the games begin.

What do YOU think?

Bummers and Boogers

Have you ever met someone that from the outside appears to be someone you could really hit it off with, but when they open their mouth, you realize how oh-so-very-wrong you were?

Yes, this happened to me yesterday at a church-sponsored scrapbooking group. She was one of three to show up. Right off, I notice she has a Creative Memories bag, so I ask her, "Oh, so you do Creative Memories, too?" No, she says. Later she explains that her sister had gotten involved in it, so her mother bought everyone Creative Memories stuff to support her daughter.

Me: Oh. I am actually a consultant.
Her: Oh, then you don't want to know my opinion on it.
Me: Oh?
Her: Yeah, I think they are WAY too expensive and I pretty much hate all multi-level marketing set-ups.
Me: Huh.

Okay, so I think it's a bit pricey too, but it was the way she said it, and c'mon this is our first interaction. You don't tell someone that the thing they are involved in sucks the first time you talk to them. Alright, so moving on. This lady has two kids around the same ages as mine and she is also pregnant, like me, and due around the same time. Perfect, I think.

Me: So are you scared or excited to have three?
Her: I don't really think about it much.
Me: (WHAT??? I am scared out of my ever loving mind) Oh, really?
Her: Yeah, half the time I forget that I am pregnant.
Me: (WHAT?????? If only I didn't feel so blasted fat and nauseated maybe I'd forget too.) Huh.

Yeah, not a good match. Not a good match at all.

And in other news, we have had a lot of "booger talk" around here lately. Yesterday, E and I had this conversation:

Me: What are you eating?
E: Nose.
Me: Are you eating boogers?
E: Yes.
Me:That's disgusting

Then this morning:

Reenie: (pointing these things out) Eyes. Nose.
E: Where's my nose? (Points to it).
Me: That's right, E.
E: It's got boogers in it. (Sniffs up the snots)

I then tell Charming about the previous conversation to which E responds, "That's disgusting."

Lovely. All of it lovely.

My Son, the Cake Eating Ketchup

Last night we had a lovely Valentine's Day dinner at home. We had shrimp, steak, and the most decadent chocolate tuxedo cake that I bought at Smith Meyer. (Used to be Fred Meyer, now Smith's Marketplace.) It was nice.

This morning I made the mistake of addressing E as "son." I was quickly informed that he was not "son" but was indeed E. This conversation ensued:

E: I'm E.
Me: Yes. Are you E. Smith?
E: No, I am not E. Smith. I am E Ketch.
Me: E Ketch?
E: I am E the Ketchup.

Well, it turns out that he is actually E the cake snatcher. I came down moments ago to see my three year old sitting at the table, open cake box in front of him, ready for a little dessert. He wanted some "birthday cake" apparently.

Monday Morning Confessions: Food

Okay, so I haven't done the Monday Morning Confessions in a while, but I think I am going to start doing them with a theme. Today's theme: Food.

1.My favorite breakfast food is Chocolate Cake

It's true. A bad (or good) habit I picked up in jr. high. C'mon tell me you don't like it.

2.I don't like nuts in things

Nuts alone are pretty good. Although we can't eat them now because of Reenie's allergy-- especially after this happened. But even before that, I couldn't stand them in things like cookies or ice cream. The texture change-- yuck! Bowls of Rocky Road would come back with a bunch of little slobbery nuts leftover. Anyway.

3. I don't do spicy

When I eat a spicy food, all I can taste is the burning sensation in my mouth. The flavor of the food is really hard to get to.

4. I don't like Red Delicious apples

Of all the varieties of apples, this is the least delicious to me. So why did they add the word delicious to the end of it? To make people think they taste good-- to trick them into buying them.

5. I am a beef-aholic

My apologies to the vegetarians, but man do I love a good steak. My midwife recently asked me if I was a meat eater (since I need the extra protein) and my husband gave an emphatic YES. Forget the chicken. Give me the red stuff.

Well, that's it. I guess I don't have any truly strange eating habits. (Unlike Charming who can't have his vegetables be too big, and won't eat chicken with red sauce.) But there it is. What are your unique eating habits or food preferences? C'mon, fess up.

A secret present and a question

Charming and E come back from a trip to the grocery store:

E: Mommy! Do you want a heart present?
Me: What?
E: Do you want a present? A Secret Present?

Later:

E: Mom, do you want to get your present?
Me: No.
E:Let's go unwrap it.
Me: So what is my present?
E: It's a Secret Present. C'mon, let's go get it.

Hmmmm.... Charming probably would have done better to say nothing to him at all about it, although it was clear to me that E didn't actually know what it was.

So, on another topic, I am wondering if anyone can explain to me the following:

I usually wake up a few hours after I have gone to bed because I have to pee, and yet I am totally parched and dried out. I use the toilet, take a small drink, and wake up hours later with yet another full bladder. How on earth is this possible? I am so dry, I drink nothing and yet wake up multiple times a night to pee buckets! Anyone know about this?

My Super Powers

I was on the phone with a friend this morning discussing some strange dreams I have had lately. During our conversation, she mentioned that she doesn't have the same super powers in her dreams as I have in mine. This got me thinking and well, here we are. In my dreams, I typically have the following super powers:

1. I can fly
This power comes in great when I am trying to escape from bad guys. I just jump and into the air and I soar. I have trouble, however, in trying to fly while carrying someone else. I just don't fly as well when carrying one of my children, for example. I do much better when not weighed down.

2. I can be invisible
This is a fairly recent development. I have not always had the power of invisibility. I like it though. Comes in pretty handy.

3. I can go through glass
This is a good one. It has taken me some time to fine tune it, but it is very useful. Especially when I am in a tall building and I fly to the top and need to get out. I just stick my hands in front of me and I glide straight through windows. Great super power.

Okay, so am I totally weird? What do you think these mean? And what super powers do you have when you dream?

Ludicrous Speed--- GO!

Well, the ball of chaos came back this morning.

E woke up (I happened to be sleeping next to him in Reenie's bed) at 5:30 this morning, whining for MILK. The whining turned to screaming when I told him it wasn't going to happen. When Charming finally got him some milk, he no longer wanted it. He would scream he wanted Mommy and then when I came in he'd tell me to go back to bed. Finally he decided he wanted to go downstairs. He wanted me to come too, and he screamed and cried, "MOMMY!!! MOMMY!!!" So I went down, turned on a video and went back to bed. 10 minutes later, the begging returned.

At some point it quieted down, and I went back to sleep.

Apparently, Charming went down and laid on the couch while E played. Daddy forgave him when he woke up to a bowl of cereal on his lap and a pretzel. E wanted to share. When Charming got up, he found a bowl on the table filled to the brim (no spills!) with Pirates of the Caribbean cereal. (Don't buy this cereal, by the way, it is basically cocoa puffs and marshmallows).

And now, if you'lll excuse me, I need to go downstairs and clean up the chocolate milk that Reenie spilled EVERYWHERE.

The Case for Crafts

Lately, I have been working on these:


I know, I know. I am the most creative person, ever.

Just kidding.

So here's the thing: I really enjoy doing little stuff like this. (These are Valentine's Day cards, by the way...) For whatever reason, creating little crafty stuff like these or doing my scrapbook during the day makes me feel like I have done something special. Like my life is more than just dishes and diaper duty. I am suddenly flipping amazing, and not just a regular ol' mom of tots. And I like doing things like this because they are quick and I can see the results right away. (Unlike needlework, which I also sometimes do, that takes weeks or months to see the final product). Instant gratification. Instant self-esteem boost. Something to do with my hands other than cleaning up poo. Yea!!!

So yes, I enjoy the arts and crafts. They make me feel happy. You should try some too.

An Open Letter to my Electric Toothbrush

Dear sir or madam,

After a long time apart, I would like to express my gratitude at your return. I have to admit, it is partly my fault that you spent so much time in Suitcase in the Closet land, and if it hadn't been for my need to return Red Suitcase, we might never have been reunited. But it is over my friend, and we are at last together again.

My tooth-brushing experience in your absence was ever so dull and commonplace. Your tiny toothbrush head, fits so nicely and unobtrusively in my mouth, not like Aquafresh Toothbrush, that big space stealing jerk. You, however, are just the right size.

When I used you yesterday morning, after your first night back on the charger, I felt like I was in Oral-B Heaven. It was a personal massage for my teeth and gums. Oh, the ecstasy! I cannot believe that ever entertained the thought of leaving you forever! The way you just moved so rapidly, eradicating every piece of the offending plaque! My motions were so effortless, and yet I felt a deeper sense of toothy clean than I have felt in the past month. You are amazing!

And so on this note, thank you. I love you, love you, love you!

Sincerely,

Stephanie and Her Mouth

A Story Written by You and Me

When I was in junior high I used to play this game with my friends at school and with my sisters on roadtrips. It's a writing game that can be a lot of fun. Here is what you do: the first person (in this case me) in a couple of paragraphs writes the beginning of a story. It doesn't matter what it's about, but ideally the author will stop writing right at a critical or suspenseful moment, and then pass the story to the next person. The next person picks up right where the first person left off, they write a few more paragraphs leaving a new suspenseful moment at the end for the next person to fill it in. And then the next person does the same thing, and so on and so forth. We usually passed it around several times so we all had lots of chances to write. When I played it with my sisters, we would get pretty mean, but looking back on them, they were hilarious!

Okay, so I have started the story and I hope that the rest of you will post your continuations of the story in the comments. Be sure to make the story pick up where the last commentor left off, and not where I did (unless you are the first person to comment). You are allowed to come back and post anytime you want. It should be a lot of fun-- so here goes! (Remember to keep it clean and inoffensive.)

The Story

It was a rainy evening and the children were finally in bed. The young and tired mother parted the curtains in her room to look down on her little street and listen to the rain. She reviewed her day in her mind-- it had been overcast and she and her children had been stuck inside all day long. Between watching Baby Einstein, breaking up little squabbles and wiping yogurt off of multiple types of surfaces, she hadn't had a moment to herself. And to top it off, it had been ramen special for dinner again. To say her day hadn't been glamorous would have been an understatement. Pretty unexciting and dull indeed. When would it end? she asked herself as she let out a sigh.

Right about now she would have loved to either curl up with a book or converse with her husband (who happened to be working on the computer in the next room), but she was so exhausted that she knew she must sleep instead. Oh well, she thought, another time, perhaps. She climbed into bed and closed her eyes. Sometimes at night as she fell asleep, she pretended that she was someone else. A princess or someone, and that her queen sized bed which seemed too small, was actually a huge four poster bed with a canopy and she was in a castle sleeping in a white nightdress on satin sheets. Tonight was no exception, and in her pretending she soon fell asleep and started to dream.

In her dream she was the royal princess that she had imagined. She was asleep in the four poster bed, and when she awoke in the morning it was a leisurely hour, and servants brought her children to her-- already bathed, fed and dressed. They played pleasantly together, the mother and her babes, until the toddler's diaper needed to be changed, at which point a nurse maid came and took care of it. Luxury! Lunch was taken in the dining hall, the Princess Mom did not have to think about it, prepare it or clean up after it. After the meal the children were put down for a nap, and the young mother had some time to herself. (Not that she had to wait for naptime to have time alone, she could have had anytime she wanted in this Fantasy Land). She was a bit tired, but instead of sleeping she decided to take a stroll in the garden. She got on her shoes and jacket and headed out. It was a crisp day, but as she approached the garden she saw something strange. It was something she had never seen before, and as she approached it--- oh my! It was a.....

Why Be Rational When You Can be a Screaming Ball of Chaos?

Here's the set-up: It is 7:50pm and time for the bath. E of course refuses to go upstairs to the tub. When we get his kicking, screaming body into the bathroom, more tears ensue.

E: I want to go to BED!!!!
Charming: (Taking E's clothes off)
E: I'm TIRED!!! (More tears and crying as he is placed in the tub)
Me: Just sit down, E.
E: Waaaahhhh! Waaaaaaahhhh! (He sits down)

Moments later, he watches Reenie being washed by Charming, with an I-am-getting-pleasure- from-your-pain look on his face. Then it's his turn. Many, many tears. He is then taken from the tub and wrapped in a towel.

E: I want to hold you!
Charming: Okay. (Holds him and then puts him down)
E: I want on Daddy!!! (Charming briefly holds him again) I want to go to bed!
Me: Okay, let's go potty and get your jammies on.
E: NOOOOOOOO! I wanna go to BED!!!!!!!
Me: Okay, but first we need to go potty and get jammies on.
E: Waaaaahhhh! Waaaaahhhhh!

We then proceed to the bathroom. He is placed on the toilet, he pees and I take him off.

E: I'm cold.
Me: Okay, then let's get the jammies and you can be warm.
E: I wanna be warm.
Me: Okay. (I start putting his arm in the pajamas)
E: (Yanks his arm away and falls in a crumpled pile on the floor) WAAAAHHHH!!!! I wanna be warm!!! I want CLOTHES!

After much struggle and tears, the jammies are on.

E: Where's my BELLY? I want MY BELLY!!!!! I need clothes!!!
Me: E, it's still here.
E: Zip down, MOM!!!
Me: (I zip it down) See? You're belly is right there.
E: (Lovingly caresses his belly)
Me: (Zipping up his jammies) Okay?
E: WAAAAAHHHH!!!! MY BELLY'S GONE!!!!! I want MILK!!!!!
Me: Don't you wanna go to bed?
E:NOOOOOOOO!!!!!

He then goes into his room to tell his Daddy that he wants his belly, and asks him to unzip it. We finally get him in bed with his blanket and then he asks for milk again. Charming brings it, I lay next to him for a few minutes and then leave. And then, he falls asleep, hallelujah.

Apparently, he was just really tired. And hey, I get the same way sometimes.

Fake Puke gets No Tears

So yeah, the morning sickness. So far, no actual vomit.

I have, however, had some near puke experiences.

Now, the problem is this: no one has any sympathy for the almost ralphing. No sympathy at all.

Me: I almost puked like five times today.
Charming: (Skeptically) You almost puked?
Me: Yeah, I hate it...
Charming: Hmmm... (Goes back to whatever he was doing)

But it is awful. I get these gaggy heaves, where I am convinced that I am about to toss some serious cookieage. But no. No puke for me. And so, I feel terrible and yet get no real sympathy. Because vomit is a tangible sign of illness, and without spewage, other people have no proof that I feel as ill as I do.

But I must ask myself: is their sympathy really worth the throwing up I would have to participate in in order to get it?

What do you think?

The College Savings

Have you all heard of Upromise?

You earn money for your kids college by buying certain brands of groceries and specific stores.

Well, I have been a member since 2003 and it turns out that I have earned $2.56, since then! Wow, so like in 15 years, between the two of them Reenie and E can buy lunch one time at the college cafeteria!

Woo Hoo!

Lame. Lame-ola lame-da lame.

In other E news, tonight Charming was making chocolate milk and he called it "Chocolate Milkety." A shocked and appalled E says enthusiastically, "Chocolate Milk-ety? That's not it."

The Elevator Belly

E saw my belly last night and we had this conversation:

E: You got belly?
Me: Yep.
E: (puts his finger in my belly button) Here's the elevator button. (Pushes it in) Ding--dooong.

He's getting funnier.... This morning he said, "Come on, Mom. Let's follow my tummy!" He's been watching Winnie-the-Pooh lately as it is Reenie's favorite show. (Bee-bee-Pooh, she calls it.)

And I am wondering about this-- has anyone heard of the pregnancy drool? I seem to be having a problem with it lately. As soon as my head hits the pillow, the jaw drops, and the drool starts a-flowing. Is this weird? I can't remember if it happened to me before or not. Sorry to gross anyone out.