Here's the set-up: It is 7:50pm and time for the bath. E of course refuses to go upstairs to the tub. When we get his kicking, screaming body into the bathroom, more tears ensue.
E: I want to go to BED!!!!
Charming: (Taking E's clothes off)
E: I'm TIRED!!! (More tears and crying as he is placed in the tub)
Me: Just sit down, E.
E: Waaaahhhh! Waaaaaaahhhh! (He sits down)
Moments later, he watches Reenie being washed by Charming, with an I-am-getting-pleasure- from-your-pain look on his face. Then it's his turn. Many, many tears. He is then taken from the tub and wrapped in a towel.
E: I want to hold you!
Charming: Okay. (Holds him and then puts him down)
E: I want on Daddy!!! (Charming briefly holds him again) I want to go to bed!
Me: Okay, let's go potty and get your jammies on.
E: NOOOOOOOO! I wanna go to BED!!!!!!!
Me: Okay, but first we need to go potty and get jammies on.
E: Waaaaahhhh! Waaaaahhhhh!
We then proceed to the bathroom. He is placed on the toilet, he pees and I take him off.
E: I'm cold.
Me: Okay, then let's get the jammies and you can be warm.
E: I wanna be warm.
Me: Okay. (I start putting his arm in the pajamas)
E: (Yanks his arm away and falls in a crumpled pile on the floor) WAAAAHHHH!!!! I wanna be warm!!! I want CLOTHES!
After much struggle and tears, the jammies are on.
E: Where's my BELLY? I want MY BELLY!!!!! I need clothes!!!
Me: E, it's still here.
E: Zip down, MOM!!!
Me: (I zip it down) See? You're belly is right there.
E: (Lovingly caresses his belly)
Me: (Zipping up his jammies) Okay?
E: WAAAAAHHHH!!!! MY BELLY'S GONE!!!!! I want MILK!!!!!
Me: Don't you wanna go to bed?
E:NOOOOOOOO!!!!!
He then goes into his room to tell his Daddy that he wants his belly, and asks him to unzip it. We finally get him in bed with his blanket and then he asks for milk again. Charming brings it, I lay next to him for a few minutes and then leave. And then, he falls asleep, hallelujah.
Apparently, he was just really tired. And hey, I get the same way sometimes.
Tuesday, January 31, 2006
Monday, January 30, 2006
Fake Puke gets No Tears
So yeah, the morning sickness. So far, no actual vomit.
I have, however, had some near puke experiences.
Now, the problem is this: no one has any sympathy for the almost ralphing. No sympathy at all.
Me: I almost puked like five times today.
Charming: (Skeptically) You almost puked?
Me: Yeah, I hate it...
Charming: Hmmm... (Goes back to whatever he was doing)
But it is awful. I get these gaggy heaves, where I am convinced that I am about to toss some serious cookieage. But no. No puke for me. And so, I feel terrible and yet get no real sympathy. Because vomit is a tangible sign of illness, and without spewage, other people have no proof that I feel as ill as I do.
But I must ask myself: is their sympathy really worth the throwing up I would have to participate in in order to get it?
What do you think?
I have, however, had some near puke experiences.
Now, the problem is this: no one has any sympathy for the almost ralphing. No sympathy at all.
Me: I almost puked like five times today.
Charming: (Skeptically) You almost puked?
Me: Yeah, I hate it...
Charming: Hmmm... (Goes back to whatever he was doing)
But it is awful. I get these gaggy heaves, where I am convinced that I am about to toss some serious cookieage. But no. No puke for me. And so, I feel terrible and yet get no real sympathy. Because vomit is a tangible sign of illness, and without spewage, other people have no proof that I feel as ill as I do.
But I must ask myself: is their sympathy really worth the throwing up I would have to participate in in order to get it?
What do you think?
Thursday, January 26, 2006
The College Savings
Have you all heard of Upromise?
You earn money for your kids college by buying certain brands of groceries and specific stores.
Well, I have been a member since 2003 and it turns out that I have earned $2.56, since then! Wow, so like in 15 years, between the two of them Reenie and E can buy lunch one time at the college cafeteria!
Woo Hoo!
Lame. Lame-ola lame-da lame.
In other E news, tonight Charming was making chocolate milk and he called it "Chocolate Milkety." A shocked and appalled E says enthusiastically, "Chocolate Milk-ety? That's not it."
You earn money for your kids college by buying certain brands of groceries and specific stores.
Well, I have been a member since 2003 and it turns out that I have earned $2.56, since then! Wow, so like in 15 years, between the two of them Reenie and E can buy lunch one time at the college cafeteria!
Woo Hoo!
Lame. Lame-ola lame-da lame.
In other E news, tonight Charming was making chocolate milk and he called it "Chocolate Milkety." A shocked and appalled E says enthusiastically, "Chocolate Milk-ety? That's not it."
The Elevator Belly
E saw my belly last night and we had this conversation:
E: You got belly?
Me: Yep.
E: (puts his finger in my belly button) Here's the elevator button. (Pushes it in) Ding--dooong.
He's getting funnier.... This morning he said, "Come on, Mom. Let's follow my tummy!" He's been watching Winnie-the-Pooh lately as it is Reenie's favorite show. (Bee-bee-Pooh, she calls it.)
And I am wondering about this-- has anyone heard of the pregnancy drool? I seem to be having a problem with it lately. As soon as my head hits the pillow, the jaw drops, and the drool starts a-flowing. Is this weird? I can't remember if it happened to me before or not. Sorry to gross anyone out.
E: You got belly?
Me: Yep.
E: (puts his finger in my belly button) Here's the elevator button. (Pushes it in) Ding--dooong.
He's getting funnier.... This morning he said, "Come on, Mom. Let's follow my tummy!" He's been watching Winnie-the-Pooh lately as it is Reenie's favorite show. (Bee-bee-Pooh, she calls it.)
And I am wondering about this-- has anyone heard of the pregnancy drool? I seem to be having a problem with it lately. As soon as my head hits the pillow, the jaw drops, and the drool starts a-flowing. Is this weird? I can't remember if it happened to me before or not. Sorry to gross anyone out.
Wednesday, January 25, 2006
The Unbloggable
After we went to see our midwife today, I decided the kids and I needed cheeseburgers and fries. We got them, we went home, we ate them.
Exciting, eh?
Well, so sitting at home watching my kids being super cute, eating chicken nuggets and "dip", I thought of something. I thought, "I can't blog this." And yet here I am. No, what I mean is this-- every once in awhile E says something funny to me and I blog about that. Occasionally Reenie does something that I can also blog about. But their everyday cuteness, the intonations in their voices, their mannerisms. These I can never express on the blog, not because I don't want to, but rather because they cannot be conveyed properly.
These things, I guess, are only for me.
How can I for example, blog to make you understand how cute it is when Reenie responds to a question you ask her? She says this clipped little "yes" (she says yes to everything!) and does a slow nod. Do you want a baby at our house? Yes. Do you want to eat crayons? Yes. Should we all sit around like lumps today and do nothing? Yes. And then when she gets really excited she yells "Yeah!!!!" in the most unfeminine, kiddish, yet heartwearming way. But you, you the reader of my blog, will never get to experience this because you can't see her face or hear her voice.
You will never know how cute E is when he gives kisses on command. You will never know just how stubborn he can be, and feel my blood pressure rise when he says no for the fiftieth time. You will never hear one of his silly jokes-- lately he's been telling us that we're robots, and he thinks that's hysterical. You will never hear him sing his cute little songs.
Nope, some things are only for this mommy alone. And sometimes Charming.
But it's like in those early months of breastfeeding, when only mommy can do that special task. I have moments with my babies that simply cannot be shared with a single other soul. Not even Charming. And they make me feel special, and a little selfish too. And I do wish I could share, just so you could know how wonderful it is and feel those tender feelings.
But some things are just for me. Sorry about that.
Exciting, eh?
Well, so sitting at home watching my kids being super cute, eating chicken nuggets and "dip", I thought of something. I thought, "I can't blog this." And yet here I am. No, what I mean is this-- every once in awhile E says something funny to me and I blog about that. Occasionally Reenie does something that I can also blog about. But their everyday cuteness, the intonations in their voices, their mannerisms. These I can never express on the blog, not because I don't want to, but rather because they cannot be conveyed properly.
These things, I guess, are only for me.
How can I for example, blog to make you understand how cute it is when Reenie responds to a question you ask her? She says this clipped little "yes" (she says yes to everything!) and does a slow nod. Do you want a baby at our house? Yes. Do you want to eat crayons? Yes. Should we all sit around like lumps today and do nothing? Yes. And then when she gets really excited she yells "Yeah!!!!" in the most unfeminine, kiddish, yet heartwearming way. But you, you the reader of my blog, will never get to experience this because you can't see her face or hear her voice.
You will never know how cute E is when he gives kisses on command. You will never know just how stubborn he can be, and feel my blood pressure rise when he says no for the fiftieth time. You will never hear one of his silly jokes-- lately he's been telling us that we're robots, and he thinks that's hysterical. You will never hear him sing his cute little songs.
Nope, some things are only for this mommy alone. And sometimes Charming.
But it's like in those early months of breastfeeding, when only mommy can do that special task. I have moments with my babies that simply cannot be shared with a single other soul. Not even Charming. And they make me feel special, and a little selfish too. And I do wish I could share, just so you could know how wonderful it is and feel those tender feelings.
But some things are just for me. Sorry about that.
Tuesday, January 24, 2006
Recent Events Involving Brown
I walked in on Charming cleaning E's ears with a Q-Tip.
Me: Be Careful!
C: I know how to clean ears!
Me: Well, okay, just be careful you could poke the ear drum or something.
C: I got a ton of ear wax out of Reenie.
Me: Yeah?
C: Yeah, you should have seen it. She had poo-brown ear wax. (His face here was priceless). I got like four Q-tips full!
Mmmmmmm.....
Sunday morning E was eating yogurt in my bed while I tried to catch a few extra winks before church. Charming went downstairs and started yelling at me to come see. Reenie had gotten chocolate syrup and poured it all over the floor. It was on her face, her jammies, everywhere. Her response? "Chock-it." Clearly, she was loving it.
Later that same day we had another brown mess with the girl. Charming says to me, "she has poop on her shirt." Chocolatey brown, people. "Are you sure it's poop?" I ask. "Yes," he tells me. We conclude that she put her hand in her diaper (as she has a tendency to do) found the poop, got grossed out and wiped her hands on her shirt. Gross? Yes. Grateful that Charming was home and took care of it? Most Definitely.
And I think I will never get to take a nap again. Today I put Reenie down for her nap and E was reading quietly in his bed. I went to catch some much needed pregnant mom zzzz's. I was not surprised when 45 minutes later, E says, "I need a diaper change." He was not wearing a diaper, and he had pooped in his underwear yet again. I was annoyed. I told the boy to take care of it himself and go in the bathroom. He starts to derobe on the carpet just outside the bathroom. I am still lying in bed watching this. "Go in the bathroom!" I tell him. He continues to undress and of course, poop falls on the floor. I mutter an unmentionable explitive and force myself to get up. I tell him to pick up the poop, which he does, and he then puts it in the toilet. What happened next was not one of my finer mothering moments. I thrust him in the tub and turned the shower on, as he had poop on his legs and I didn't want to wash him. He cried, and I eventually had to wipe it off him anyway. What am I supposed to do? I am on the verge with him, he is so strong willed and stubborn, and oh so very smart. He understands where the poop should go, and he has done it several times. I just can't get him to do it consistently. But I am near puking at the smell, sight and feel of poop these days and I just can't be cleaning up the three-year old's poop anymore. The 1 year old's poop is bad enough.
Well, that's our life recently. Lots of Brown. Yea for us.
Me: Be Careful!
C: I know how to clean ears!
Me: Well, okay, just be careful you could poke the ear drum or something.
C: I got a ton of ear wax out of Reenie.
Me: Yeah?
C: Yeah, you should have seen it. She had poo-brown ear wax. (His face here was priceless). I got like four Q-tips full!
Mmmmmmm.....
Sunday morning E was eating yogurt in my bed while I tried to catch a few extra winks before church. Charming went downstairs and started yelling at me to come see. Reenie had gotten chocolate syrup and poured it all over the floor. It was on her face, her jammies, everywhere. Her response? "Chock-it." Clearly, she was loving it.
Later that same day we had another brown mess with the girl. Charming says to me, "she has poop on her shirt." Chocolatey brown, people. "Are you sure it's poop?" I ask. "Yes," he tells me. We conclude that she put her hand in her diaper (as she has a tendency to do) found the poop, got grossed out and wiped her hands on her shirt. Gross? Yes. Grateful that Charming was home and took care of it? Most Definitely.
And I think I will never get to take a nap again. Today I put Reenie down for her nap and E was reading quietly in his bed. I went to catch some much needed pregnant mom zzzz's. I was not surprised when 45 minutes later, E says, "I need a diaper change." He was not wearing a diaper, and he had pooped in his underwear yet again. I was annoyed. I told the boy to take care of it himself and go in the bathroom. He starts to derobe on the carpet just outside the bathroom. I am still lying in bed watching this. "Go in the bathroom!" I tell him. He continues to undress and of course, poop falls on the floor. I mutter an unmentionable explitive and force myself to get up. I tell him to pick up the poop, which he does, and he then puts it in the toilet. What happened next was not one of my finer mothering moments. I thrust him in the tub and turned the shower on, as he had poop on his legs and I didn't want to wash him. He cried, and I eventually had to wipe it off him anyway. What am I supposed to do? I am on the verge with him, he is so strong willed and stubborn, and oh so very smart. He understands where the poop should go, and he has done it several times. I just can't get him to do it consistently. But I am near puking at the smell, sight and feel of poop these days and I just can't be cleaning up the three-year old's poop anymore. The 1 year old's poop is bad enough.
Well, that's our life recently. Lots of Brown. Yea for us.
Monday, January 23, 2006
Confession Time
"Mommy!!! I'm STUCK!!!!"Yes, yes you are. But tell me, why did it occur to you that putting the tennis ball sleeve on your foot was a good idea?
In other news, my house is a bomb site. I simply can't get myself to clean it. I feel like poo, and in my good moments I feel like doing anything but cleaning. And so, a few more confessions:
1. I have of late been refusing to unload the dishwasher
It's Charming's job! And it simply is not compatible with the visual clean. Why would I take something out and put it somewhere else when it is already out of sight? Hmmm? I ask you. Why?
2. I was not as excited with the positive pregnancy result this time, as I was with the first two
Sorry, Spider. I hope when you are born and Mommy loves you to pieces that you never find out about this little tidbit of information.
3. My house will probably look like a horrible mess for at least another month
I am pretty upset about this, but what can I do? The children take up more of my energy than I can give right now, and there is no one I can really call for back-up or reinforcements.
Oh yeah, and...
4. The Christmas Decorations are still NOT down
Well, that's it. Anyone know a good maid?
Saturday, January 21, 2006
Jane Eyre
Okay, so I just finished reading Jane Eyre. Good book. It took me about two nights of staying up late and a daytime of ignoring my children to finish it. I just had to get through it. I just had to know how it would turn out. I just had to know what would happen to Mr. Rochester's crazy wife so that he and Jane could be together.
That said, I am now sad it is over. Great stories, great books are like friends. Especially where this book was written in first person (love it, it's been awhile since I read one) I felt especially close to the heroine. I was really mad about the way her aunt treated her, I could almost sense her hunger while she was at Lowood School, and I was so sad for her when her sweet friend, Helen died. I felt so miserable when on her wedding day, it was revealed that Mr. Rochester was already married and that she would now have to part from the one person who she ever felt close to and safe with.
I cried at the end when Mr. Rochester was telling her how sad and miserable he had been without her.
I just love a good book, but again it is just so disappointing for it to end. Now what? I ask myself. I always think, there will never be a book so good as this again. I will never have a sweet friend speak to me from printed pages. I will have to give up reading altogether. I will have to now write a great story. And then a few months later, another book comes along, and the romance begins afresh. The rapid reading, the rush to finish it, the closing of the back cover after the final page is read and then the sorrow at it ending.
Oh well. It was good. Ms. Bronte did just such a wonderful job in making Jane very real and dear to the reader. Her joy in finding Mr. Rochester was just so-- oh! And the funny thing about reading a book such as this with a somewhat romantic theme, it always makes me feel more appreciative, and more affectionate towards my husband. Like, "Oh yes, he's my Mr. Rochester (or Mr. Darcy, or Bingley, or whoever..)" Does anyone else ever feel like this? Am I totally weird?
And what should I read next?
Friday, January 20, 2006
Said by E
Bank-o Crap-io Excus-o
Okay, so check this out.
Just before Christmas, Charming got a reimbursement check from his work in the amount of about $400. He signed it and took it to be deposited, but was unable to because the bank was closed. Sometime during his outing, however, he lost said check, and we forgot about it until we returned home from our vacation and started looking into the matter.
It turns out that someone else deposited it.
This is awful in oh so many ways. Well now the bank, who has a copy of the check and knows what day the check was deposited is saying they don't know who deposited it. Well it wasn't us, folks. The date the check cleared we were in Sunny Florida. But this is preposterous to me that they should not know who deposited it. Absolutely ludicrous. In a day and age of computers, databases and good recordkeeping why would they not know who deposited said check?
Charming mentioned that it was perhaps a privacy issue. I countered by saying the depositor had done something illegal. Or immoral at the very least. And though Charming has a fairly common name, this person may not even have had his same name. They wrote no account number on the back of the check or even bothered to endorse it, but it is possible that they just deposited it via the ATM machine and the bank didn't even confirm that the info matched.
But I am sure they have a confirmation number or something associated with that check and it would but take a few quick strokes of the key to pull up the information. If they don't, you can sure as heck bet that I ain't banking with them anymore.
And here's another thought-- what if the person that did this is really needy and poor and could use the money more than us? I would feel bad about this, dishonest though they may be. I would not say they were justified in it, but I would feel bad about making a big deal about $400 that would make my life easier, but not at all needed. But then, they could have been poor and used the money to buy Nikes. Then I would be mad. Well I am mad anyway. Mad at the dishonest person and mad at the bank.
Mostly I just want this matter cleared up.
That's my drama for the day. Any thoughts? What would you do?
Just before Christmas, Charming got a reimbursement check from his work in the amount of about $400. He signed it and took it to be deposited, but was unable to because the bank was closed. Sometime during his outing, however, he lost said check, and we forgot about it until we returned home from our vacation and started looking into the matter.
It turns out that someone else deposited it.
This is awful in oh so many ways. Well now the bank, who has a copy of the check and knows what day the check was deposited is saying they don't know who deposited it. Well it wasn't us, folks. The date the check cleared we were in Sunny Florida. But this is preposterous to me that they should not know who deposited it. Absolutely ludicrous. In a day and age of computers, databases and good recordkeeping why would they not know who deposited said check?
Charming mentioned that it was perhaps a privacy issue. I countered by saying the depositor had done something illegal. Or immoral at the very least. And though Charming has a fairly common name, this person may not even have had his same name. They wrote no account number on the back of the check or even bothered to endorse it, but it is possible that they just deposited it via the ATM machine and the bank didn't even confirm that the info matched.
But I am sure they have a confirmation number or something associated with that check and it would but take a few quick strokes of the key to pull up the information. If they don't, you can sure as heck bet that I ain't banking with them anymore.
And here's another thought-- what if the person that did this is really needy and poor and could use the money more than us? I would feel bad about this, dishonest though they may be. I would not say they were justified in it, but I would feel bad about making a big deal about $400 that would make my life easier, but not at all needed. But then, they could have been poor and used the money to buy Nikes. Then I would be mad. Well I am mad anyway. Mad at the dishonest person and mad at the bank.
Mostly I just want this matter cleared up.
That's my drama for the day. Any thoughts? What would you do?
Thursday, January 19, 2006
If I Buy Your Stuff, Will You Go Away?
Okay, so door to door sales people....
I have a peep-hole now in my door, so you would think when I see an unfamiliar black man at my door that I would just not answer it, right? (I am not racist, by the way, I would be wary of an unknown white man during the day too...)
So, I am dumb and I open the door.
A salesman. Selling what? Selling this.
First he uses permanent pen on a cloth and then uses his magic cleaning spray to get it out. Then he picks up one of Charming's shoes and cleans gunk off of it with ease. Then he asks for problem spots in my house. I show him an orange carpet stain. Much of the stain comes up, but not all of it. He seems satisifed, but I am not necessarily. And yet I buy the stuff. It is concentrated and very expensive. But I buy it. Why?
Probably for the same reason I opened the door and let him in, in the first place.
And one thing I have noticed about these salesman types-- they have a constantly running mouth-- they crack less than funny jokes, and yet find themselves hilarious. It makes me feel a little awkward. And should I laugh? He doesn't seem to notice that I feel uncomfortable.
And he thought I was older than him. I of course was not. I guess he just assumed because I have two kids and a house that I must be old?
Whatever. It was weird, and yet the most exciting thing that has happened all day.
And now I have some new cleaning product, which appears to be doing a great job on my soap scum.
I have a peep-hole now in my door, so you would think when I see an unfamiliar black man at my door that I would just not answer it, right? (I am not racist, by the way, I would be wary of an unknown white man during the day too...)
So, I am dumb and I open the door.
A salesman. Selling what? Selling this.
First he uses permanent pen on a cloth and then uses his magic cleaning spray to get it out. Then he picks up one of Charming's shoes and cleans gunk off of it with ease. Then he asks for problem spots in my house. I show him an orange carpet stain. Much of the stain comes up, but not all of it. He seems satisifed, but I am not necessarily. And yet I buy the stuff. It is concentrated and very expensive. But I buy it. Why?
Probably for the same reason I opened the door and let him in, in the first place.
And one thing I have noticed about these salesman types-- they have a constantly running mouth-- they crack less than funny jokes, and yet find themselves hilarious. It makes me feel a little awkward. And should I laugh? He doesn't seem to notice that I feel uncomfortable.
And he thought I was older than him. I of course was not. I guess he just assumed because I have two kids and a house that I must be old?
Whatever. It was weird, and yet the most exciting thing that has happened all day.
And now I have some new cleaning product, which appears to be doing a great job on my soap scum.
Photo of the Day
Yes, this is my tub. Don't worry, the black stuff on the walls is tub crayons and not mildew or something else detestable. And yes, that is underwear floating in the lower right corner. It is E's underwear, I can't remember if it was him or Reenie who put it in there, but it was Reenie who had lots of fun dropping it and flinging it all over the place.Yesterday, while I was on the phone I heard the tub water running. I went in the bathroom to see E sitting in the tub, naked, with the water going. Apparently, he wanted an afternoon bath. So he got one. Reenie of course, wanted in on the action, so she also had a bath. This is what the tub looked like after that particular occasion.
Wednesday, January 18, 2006
It's me again
Okay, so it's been an hour or two since the last post and I already have more to say. Probably because I just talked to my mom and she said, "Oh I just commented on your blog post about the Rainy Eyes." So I read what she wrote. Here is what she said:
"I am so blessed to have a daughter that likes the rainy place. I too like the rainy place and miss it almost as much as you do, Stephanie. We all have to make choices when it comes to lifestyle. My living in Sp-- is the same kind of choice - cheaper housing, slower pace, less money for the same job (at least 1/3 less than Se--), it has been an adjustment as well. Just know that you are not alone in your journey and that I am always with you in thought and in loving you and missing the rainy place. Let's take a little trip to Se-- together and find that happy place again. I love you. Mom"
What a Nice Mommy.
And also, I love rain. But I do have a special place in my heart for this:
It is snowing right now. The snowman is all that is left of Sunday's snow, but I don't think he's had his V8 juice today, do you?
"I am so blessed to have a daughter that likes the rainy place. I too like the rainy place and miss it almost as much as you do, Stephanie. We all have to make choices when it comes to lifestyle. My living in Sp-- is the same kind of choice - cheaper housing, slower pace, less money for the same job (at least 1/3 less than Se--), it has been an adjustment as well. Just know that you are not alone in your journey and that I am always with you in thought and in loving you and missing the rainy place. Let's take a little trip to Se-- together and find that happy place again. I love you. Mom"
What a Nice Mommy.
And also, I love rain. But I do have a special place in my heart for this:
It is snowing right now. The snowman is all that is left of Sunday's snow, but I don't think he's had his V8 juice today, do you?
Pick me out a headstone... for my blog
Okay, so right now I am an ill mommy. A very ill mommy indeed. I have a head cold and morning sickness, and Utah is oh so very dry and I my eyeballs feel like... something very dry. Raisins. That's a good one.
So it isn't a very good mom day. The children are being cared for by Nanny Video and I am blogging and very soon will be on the couch for the rest of the day, convincing my three year old to bring me cheese and gatorade.
And I think about death. Death for this blog, that is. I am sure all five of you are very sad, funeral services will be held at...
No, seriously. I don't know how long I can do this. The blog has been a great outlet for me, but in many ways, I expect it to do more than it does, and this disappoints and discourages me. I feel like I don't have things to say anymore and it's oh so very time-consuming, and my life needs flesh and blood look-me-in-the-eyes-let-me-hear-your-voice readers, oh wait, I mean friends.
Not to put my whine on (again) but oh how I am struggling here in the Beehive State in my nice little house with my adorable children. I get so jealous of Charming who gets to go to an office everyday and be surrounded by-- people. Even if he doesn't talk to them (and I know he does) at least they are there, and that is so appealing to me. And I love my children, but my brain and my soul require conversation beyond, "Do you have to go potty?" and "What do you want? Oh more (fill in kid food here)." And the ever popular, "Stop doing that to your sister! Crying means she doesn't like it."
My neighborhood people are just not so very outgoing or friendly. Everyone is nice, but outgoing and friend maker types, no. And let me tell you I have tried to make friends. I tried joining a mom's club and basically found no warm reception (one lady actually said she didn't make an effort because the club had already helped her make friends.) I have done a lot, held playgroups and different things, but I just can't anymore. I just, at this point am tired (and for the next little bit, sick) and I can't get out there and hit it hard for friends anymore. And most of them don't really have the need to get to know other people because they either a. already have friends or b. live about 5 minutes from their mommys or c (and this is weird in Mormonville) have another job. I am so jealous.
I am so sorry. I am such a whiner.
So the blog, the blog may have to go, since it affects my self esteem in such weird and probably not normal ways. My family sometimes reads it, I think, but they never comment so it's like a one sided conversation into the empty air. It makes me sad and annoyed.
Changes must be made in this life of mine. I don't know what they are, and quite frankly, I have been struggling to figure that out for the past 18 months. But the blog, the blog may have to go. Or at least, it will have to come back with some cheerier topics.
Again apologies from the unhappy mommy lady.
So it isn't a very good mom day. The children are being cared for by Nanny Video and I am blogging and very soon will be on the couch for the rest of the day, convincing my three year old to bring me cheese and gatorade.
And I think about death. Death for this blog, that is. I am sure all five of you are very sad, funeral services will be held at...
No, seriously. I don't know how long I can do this. The blog has been a great outlet for me, but in many ways, I expect it to do more than it does, and this disappoints and discourages me. I feel like I don't have things to say anymore and it's oh so very time-consuming, and my life needs flesh and blood look-me-in-the-eyes-let-me-hear-your-voice readers, oh wait, I mean friends.
Not to put my whine on (again) but oh how I am struggling here in the Beehive State in my nice little house with my adorable children. I get so jealous of Charming who gets to go to an office everyday and be surrounded by-- people. Even if he doesn't talk to them (and I know he does) at least they are there, and that is so appealing to me. And I love my children, but my brain and my soul require conversation beyond, "Do you have to go potty?" and "What do you want? Oh more (fill in kid food here)." And the ever popular, "Stop doing that to your sister! Crying means she doesn't like it."
My neighborhood people are just not so very outgoing or friendly. Everyone is nice, but outgoing and friend maker types, no. And let me tell you I have tried to make friends. I tried joining a mom's club and basically found no warm reception (one lady actually said she didn't make an effort because the club had already helped her make friends.) I have done a lot, held playgroups and different things, but I just can't anymore. I just, at this point am tired (and for the next little bit, sick) and I can't get out there and hit it hard for friends anymore. And most of them don't really have the need to get to know other people because they either a. already have friends or b. live about 5 minutes from their mommys or c (and this is weird in Mormonville) have another job. I am so jealous.
I am so sorry. I am such a whiner.
So the blog, the blog may have to go, since it affects my self esteem in such weird and probably not normal ways. My family sometimes reads it, I think, but they never comment so it's like a one sided conversation into the empty air. It makes me sad and annoyed.
Changes must be made in this life of mine. I don't know what they are, and quite frankly, I have been struggling to figure that out for the past 18 months. But the blog, the blog may have to go. Or at least, it will have to come back with some cheerier topics.
Again apologies from the unhappy mommy lady.
Tuesday, January 17, 2006
Controversy in my Town
Okay, so I am not much for stirring up controversy-- voice my opinion when one arises, yes, but starting one--no.
That said, there has been a bit of a local controversy that I just became aware of today because I am sick and have not much better to do than read the paper. From what I can gather from the letters to the editor, this is what happened: a local, wealthy businessman who owns several car dealerships and movie theaters wouldn't show (or canceled a showing of) a homosexually themed movie, based on his moral objections. Some people started screaming bigotry, while still others praised him for his integrity.
Now, my own moral views aside, I feel it is his business right to show or not show whatever movies he wants for whatever reasons he chooses. He owns the theater, he is the boss. He did not go on a campaign against gay people, he just said no to the flick. What's the big deal? (And why do people not know how to differentiate between hating the sin and not the sinner? If I don't like the fact that my mom (or whoever) does whatever, does that mean I don't love my mom? Of course not.)
People are entitled to their opinions, and for the most part can choose their own behavior based on their beliefs. This business owner can do whatever he wants. He can show ten X-rated movies a day, or he can only show Disney flicks if that's what he wants. He is choosing the kind of establishment he wants to run and the kind of clientele he wants to attract just like the owner of a local bar, kiddie gym or family style restaurant might do. I just don't understand why he is getting the flack he's getting just for running his business the way he wants to. And if some other theater decided not to show a G-Rated film because they didn't morally agree with it, I wouldn't care! If it was a movie about my life, and they decided not to show it, I would not make such a big deal out of it, I might not go to that theater, but I wouldn't cry intolerance!
And if people just have to see this film that this man is not showing at his theater, I am sure they can find it somewhere else. They don't have to go to his theater-- that's their right as consumers and they have choices. Just as he has rights and choices as a business owner.
That said, there has been a bit of a local controversy that I just became aware of today because I am sick and have not much better to do than read the paper. From what I can gather from the letters to the editor, this is what happened: a local, wealthy businessman who owns several car dealerships and movie theaters wouldn't show (or canceled a showing of) a homosexually themed movie, based on his moral objections. Some people started screaming bigotry, while still others praised him for his integrity.
Now, my own moral views aside, I feel it is his business right to show or not show whatever movies he wants for whatever reasons he chooses. He owns the theater, he is the boss. He did not go on a campaign against gay people, he just said no to the flick. What's the big deal? (And why do people not know how to differentiate between hating the sin and not the sinner? If I don't like the fact that my mom (or whoever) does whatever, does that mean I don't love my mom? Of course not.)
People are entitled to their opinions, and for the most part can choose their own behavior based on their beliefs. This business owner can do whatever he wants. He can show ten X-rated movies a day, or he can only show Disney flicks if that's what he wants. He is choosing the kind of establishment he wants to run and the kind of clientele he wants to attract just like the owner of a local bar, kiddie gym or family style restaurant might do. I just don't understand why he is getting the flack he's getting just for running his business the way he wants to. And if some other theater decided not to show a G-Rated film because they didn't morally agree with it, I wouldn't care! If it was a movie about my life, and they decided not to show it, I would not make such a big deal out of it, I might not go to that theater, but I wouldn't cry intolerance!
And if people just have to see this film that this man is not showing at his theater, I am sure they can find it somewhere else. They don't have to go to his theater-- that's their right as consumers and they have choices. Just as he has rights and choices as a business owner.
Monday, January 16, 2006
Monday Morning Confessions
Whew! It's been awhile...
1. I love having kids in our bed.
Not to be confused with making kids or delivering kids in our bed... No seriously, I love going on vacation and having to share a bed with the children. They are so sweet when they are asleep and as long as they don't kick, I get a better rest with them there. However we do not have a huge bed so therefore-
2. I want a King Size Bed
We have a Queen now, which is a good size for two adults. Good even for two adults and a baby. Not good for two adults and a squiggly, wiggly toddler. Really not good for two adults and two toddlers.
3. I think we will be putting off getting a dog for a bit
Okay, so here's the deal on this one. We went to the Humane Society on Saturday and there were no good dogs there. E was terrified of the big, smelly, barky dogs and they both loved the kitties. Kitties, however do not like my children, so that is not really an option (even though it was suggested by Charming). But, after this experience, Charming said: "We should probably get a puppy." At this point, I am in NO kind of condition to be dealing with that. I can't even poop train my kid, and I do not want to be getting up at night with a dog, when I am going to have to be doing that with a baby in 8 months. So there you go, the dream has died. Not really, but it has for now.
4. I love the idea of a home birth with a midwife, but this time around we are doing the hospital thing
Is this totally hypocritical? I am seeing a certified nurse midwife, if that helps. Charming and I just both felt impressed that we shouldn't take the plunge into home birth this time around, for whatever reason, we don't really know. But I have fast labor, and I asked a local midwife about that situation, and she said, "Well, births are usually unattended because they didn't call soon enough, and usually with a fast labor, there isn't time for complications." Does that reassure you? Didn't do it for me.
5. Our Christmas cards are sitting on my dresser, ready to be mailed
Yes, this is awful and yes, I realize that Christmas was nearly a month ago. My decorations (including my tree) are still up, too. Shocked? It will probably be February before I get them down. (And no, it's not just because I am pregnant.)
1. I love having kids in our bed.
Not to be confused with making kids or delivering kids in our bed... No seriously, I love going on vacation and having to share a bed with the children. They are so sweet when they are asleep and as long as they don't kick, I get a better rest with them there. However we do not have a huge bed so therefore-
2. I want a King Size Bed
We have a Queen now, which is a good size for two adults. Good even for two adults and a baby. Not good for two adults and a squiggly, wiggly toddler. Really not good for two adults and two toddlers.
3. I think we will be putting off getting a dog for a bit
Okay, so here's the deal on this one. We went to the Humane Society on Saturday and there were no good dogs there. E was terrified of the big, smelly, barky dogs and they both loved the kitties. Kitties, however do not like my children, so that is not really an option (even though it was suggested by Charming). But, after this experience, Charming said: "We should probably get a puppy." At this point, I am in NO kind of condition to be dealing with that. I can't even poop train my kid, and I do not want to be getting up at night with a dog, when I am going to have to be doing that with a baby in 8 months. So there you go, the dream has died. Not really, but it has for now.
4. I love the idea of a home birth with a midwife, but this time around we are doing the hospital thing
Is this totally hypocritical? I am seeing a certified nurse midwife, if that helps. Charming and I just both felt impressed that we shouldn't take the plunge into home birth this time around, for whatever reason, we don't really know. But I have fast labor, and I asked a local midwife about that situation, and she said, "Well, births are usually unattended because they didn't call soon enough, and usually with a fast labor, there isn't time for complications." Does that reassure you? Didn't do it for me.
5. Our Christmas cards are sitting on my dresser, ready to be mailed
Yes, this is awful and yes, I realize that Christmas was nearly a month ago. My decorations (including my tree) are still up, too. Shocked? It will probably be February before I get them down. (And no, it's not just because I am pregnant.)
Saturday, January 14, 2006
A bit
E is helping me type this and he wanted BLUE letters. He just had a traumatic experience where he turned on the television and it was very, very LOUD.
khgdweyhvxznuph (E typed this then he said, "spells.... what does it spell, mom?")
And my children love Les Miserables, apparently. Yesterday, E picked up the 1400 page non-llustrated novel and began casually flipping through it. Then this morning Reenie also picked it up. She was apparently upset about the lack of pictures, so she began to create some....
That's it. I was going to show you my new do, but none of the pics turned out well enough. Forgive my vanity.
khgdweyhvxznuph (E typed this then he said, "spells.... what does it spell, mom?")
And my children love Les Miserables, apparently. Yesterday, E picked up the 1400 page non-llustrated novel and began casually flipping through it. Then this morning Reenie also picked it up. She was apparently upset about the lack of pictures, so she began to create some....
That's it. I was going to show you my new do, but none of the pics turned out well enough. Forgive my vanity.
Thursday, January 12, 2006
The Albertson's Store
Well, I managed to drag my nauseated body off of the couch today long enough to take a trip to the grocery store. The Albertson's Store, where many a great 10 for 10 deal was to be had.
Here is the thing about going to the grocery store with two small kids-- careful planning is everything. For one, you must either park extremely close to the front door or near a cart return. Today I opted for a cart return, not close spot, which turned out to be less helpful as the bag boy helped me out in the end.
Okay, the second thing you must do with two kids is get the special cart. We went in the first set of doors and there was no special-looks-like-a-real-car-with-two-seatbelts-and two-steering-wheels-so-the-kids-will-stay-happy-and-entertained cart. I panicked, but pulled it together. As we made the loooong walk to the other set of doors, I silently prayed that 1. a second set of doors existed and 2. that there would be a special cart there. There was and we were saved.
Now about the special cart... I don't want to be a whiner, but-- I feel burdened enough at the grocery store with two kids that I do not need a cart that looks and sounds like a flipping eighteen-wheeler and requires my full body weight to force it up and down the aisles. Obviously, we need the special cart or one child would have to walk in order to fit all the groceries into the cart. I just hate how the thing just screams at the other customers "HEEEEYYY!!! I've got KIDS here! And here I come with my monster-truck cart! If you aren't going to move, at least look at me funny when you hear me coming!" Man! Oh well. Moving on.
Third important thing about the grocery store with kids-- map out your trip up the aisles with care. If you get the cookie too soon, they'll be bawling by the end, but if you don't get it soon enough they'll be hounding you for it. And you MUST GET THE COOKIE. Also, I learned today not to go through the toy aisle if you can help it. At least don't go there first. My kids don't necessarily beg for stuff, but they do beg to keep revisiting the toy aisle.
Lastly, if at all possible, avoid going down the same aisle more than once. They sense it. They become angry and start poking each other. And it takes longer. Be as fast as you can in the grocery store with toddlers.
And mostly I am posting to let you know of my shopping victory at the Albertson's store. By paying careful attention to sale items via the circular ad and by bringing a few coupons from my newspaper I spent $92 but SAVED 57 dollars, people. Woo-HOO!!! Get this too-- with my coupons and the 10 for 10 sale, one of my boxes of Life cereal was $0.25 and two of my boxes of Quaker Oatmeal were $0.50 a piece. Rock on.
Here is the thing about going to the grocery store with two small kids-- careful planning is everything. For one, you must either park extremely close to the front door or near a cart return. Today I opted for a cart return, not close spot, which turned out to be less helpful as the bag boy helped me out in the end.
Okay, the second thing you must do with two kids is get the special cart. We went in the first set of doors and there was no special-looks-like-a-real-car-with-two-seatbelts-and two-steering-wheels-so-the-kids-will-stay-happy-and-entertained cart. I panicked, but pulled it together. As we made the loooong walk to the other set of doors, I silently prayed that 1. a second set of doors existed and 2. that there would be a special cart there. There was and we were saved.
Now about the special cart... I don't want to be a whiner, but-- I feel burdened enough at the grocery store with two kids that I do not need a cart that looks and sounds like a flipping eighteen-wheeler and requires my full body weight to force it up and down the aisles. Obviously, we need the special cart or one child would have to walk in order to fit all the groceries into the cart. I just hate how the thing just screams at the other customers "HEEEEYYY!!! I've got KIDS here! And here I come with my monster-truck cart! If you aren't going to move, at least look at me funny when you hear me coming!" Man! Oh well. Moving on.
Third important thing about the grocery store with kids-- map out your trip up the aisles with care. If you get the cookie too soon, they'll be bawling by the end, but if you don't get it soon enough they'll be hounding you for it. And you MUST GET THE COOKIE. Also, I learned today not to go through the toy aisle if you can help it. At least don't go there first. My kids don't necessarily beg for stuff, but they do beg to keep revisiting the toy aisle.
Lastly, if at all possible, avoid going down the same aisle more than once. They sense it. They become angry and start poking each other. And it takes longer. Be as fast as you can in the grocery store with toddlers.
And mostly I am posting to let you know of my shopping victory at the Albertson's store. By paying careful attention to sale items via the circular ad and by bringing a few coupons from my newspaper I spent $92 but SAVED 57 dollars, people. Woo-HOO!!! Get this too-- with my coupons and the 10 for 10 sale, one of my boxes of Life cereal was $0.25 and two of my boxes of Quaker Oatmeal were $0.50 a piece. Rock on.
Printastic!
Our new printer is a little bit dramatic...
She makes a lot of noise while she "warms up"(I guess that's what she's doing). She takes for flipping ever, people, I guess she wants everything to be "just right." And then out of nowhere-- BAM!!! She grabs the paper loudly and thrusts it forth as she transforms its blankness into a pattern of black (or colored!) characters.
It scares me a little. She's a little overenthusiastic. And yes, I was startled when she finally decided to print something after her lengthy preparation.
Good Printer, though. Highly Recommended.
Wednesday, January 11, 2006
Give Me All Your Advice Wednesday: Feel Good Pregnancy Thoughts
No, I am not starting a tradition, I just need some ideas...
Okay, so here is me last night. I wake up around 1 am feeling, umm... icky. Not really nauseated, just gross. So I lie? lay? in bed thinking of what to do to make myself feel better. Rice sounded really good, but we didn't have any made up (note to self: make some rice and put it in the fridge) so then I thought, perhaps Rice Chex. So I go downstairs take a swig of Powerade (oh so good, but be careful as too much can upset the stomach) and pour myself a bowl of Chex. I then sit on the couch wrapped up in a big blanket and pathetically eat my cereal. As I sit there, I think, sitting up makes me feel better, so maybe I'll find someplace where I can sleep not laying down.
So I go upstairs and make myself semi-comfortable on the recliner chair in the kids room. I still couldn't sleep, my tummy was all churny and I kept burping Rice Chex. I then moved myself to the bathroom, hoping I could vomit and go to sleep, but it was not going to happen. So I climb back in bed with Charming at which point I hear a door close and footsteps in the hall. My first thought was, whoa, all the adults are in here. But it was just E. He was downstairs looking bewildered and he informed me he wanted to sleep in our bed.
I finally fell asleep at 2 am, and was periodically slapped by a three year old the rest of the night.
Why this story? I want your advice. What are some things that worked for you to feel good during pregnancy? I know there really isn't very much, but I just hate waking up like I did last night, so I could use your ideas.
So what have you got?
Okay, so here is me last night. I wake up around 1 am feeling, umm... icky. Not really nauseated, just gross. So I lie? lay? in bed thinking of what to do to make myself feel better. Rice sounded really good, but we didn't have any made up (note to self: make some rice and put it in the fridge) so then I thought, perhaps Rice Chex. So I go downstairs take a swig of Powerade (oh so good, but be careful as too much can upset the stomach) and pour myself a bowl of Chex. I then sit on the couch wrapped up in a big blanket and pathetically eat my cereal. As I sit there, I think, sitting up makes me feel better, so maybe I'll find someplace where I can sleep not laying down.
So I go upstairs and make myself semi-comfortable on the recliner chair in the kids room. I still couldn't sleep, my tummy was all churny and I kept burping Rice Chex. I then moved myself to the bathroom, hoping I could vomit and go to sleep, but it was not going to happen. So I climb back in bed with Charming at which point I hear a door close and footsteps in the hall. My first thought was, whoa, all the adults are in here. But it was just E. He was downstairs looking bewildered and he informed me he wanted to sleep in our bed.
I finally fell asleep at 2 am, and was periodically slapped by a three year old the rest of the night.
Why this story? I want your advice. What are some things that worked for you to feel good during pregnancy? I know there really isn't very much, but I just hate waking up like I did last night, so I could use your ideas.
So what have you got?
Tuesday, January 10, 2006
To Lighten the Mood
Some (hopefully) funny things:
1. Someone has found my site by doing a search for Princess of Puke. (Hey, I found it amusing)
2. Yesterday while trying to take a nap with E, E started saying softly, "Mommy's Asleep, E's Asleep, Reenie's Asleep, Daddy's Asleep..." (He pasued and then said in a high squeaky voice) "Ashlapoopargahwah!"
3. Last night at dinner Charming said, "all right" to which E responded, "trot out the ladies." (It's from Emperor's New Groove.) E then said, "Yikes, yikes yikes..."
4. Last week I avoided a near shopping cart automible disaster. I had unloaded my groceries and my cart started slowly rolling away, I figured I had it, so I shut my trunk. And then I saw the oncoming car. And, no joke, the rest was in slow motion. I dove for the cart which was about and inch from the silver sedan (A Honda? I don't know) when I rescued it. Fortunately, the nice old man just smiled and waved at me.
1. Someone has found my site by doing a search for Princess of Puke. (Hey, I found it amusing)
2. Yesterday while trying to take a nap with E, E started saying softly, "Mommy's Asleep, E's Asleep, Reenie's Asleep, Daddy's Asleep..." (He pasued and then said in a high squeaky voice) "Ashlapoopargahwah!"
3. Last night at dinner Charming said, "all right" to which E responded, "trot out the ladies." (It's from Emperor's New Groove.) E then said, "Yikes, yikes yikes..."
4. Last week I avoided a near shopping cart automible disaster. I had unloaded my groceries and my cart started slowly rolling away, I figured I had it, so I shut my trunk. And then I saw the oncoming car. And, no joke, the rest was in slow motion. I dove for the cart which was about and inch from the silver sedan (A Honda? I don't know) when I rescued it. Fortunately, the nice old man just smiled and waved at me.
Monday, January 09, 2006
Again with the Sentiments
Well, there are days like today, and there are days like, well, today actually.
There are days like today when my neighbor calls me up randomly and offers to watch my kids because I am pregnant, and I feel like I love living here and I never want to move away.
And then there are days like today when I call up the Daring One on the phone and afterwards feel like I would give anything to live in the Rainy Place. I want to drop in semi-uninvited to the Daring One's condo and sit on her sofa while Reenie and E play with Laylee and Magoo, and we chat about random nothings.
There are days like today, and there are days like today.
I am sorry that this is becoming a theme lately. It must be the winter, and the fact that it's been almost a year since we moved. And I am pregnant and hormonal. I know (logically) that if we moved back to the Rainy Place that things would not be perfect. When I moved there the first time I missed Provo, you know. Although, missing Provo was a passing, "I don't have friends here yet" kind of feeling. Missing the Rainy Place is an ache. A pain that goes away, but always seems to come back from time to time to remind me of what I can't have.
I think I am going to start planning a Spring Break to the Rainy Place so I can get some closure on this nonsense.
There are days like today when my neighbor calls me up randomly and offers to watch my kids because I am pregnant, and I feel like I love living here and I never want to move away.
And then there are days like today when I call up the Daring One on the phone and afterwards feel like I would give anything to live in the Rainy Place. I want to drop in semi-uninvited to the Daring One's condo and sit on her sofa while Reenie and E play with Laylee and Magoo, and we chat about random nothings.
There are days like today, and there are days like today.
I am sorry that this is becoming a theme lately. It must be the winter, and the fact that it's been almost a year since we moved. And I am pregnant and hormonal. I know (logically) that if we moved back to the Rainy Place that things would not be perfect. When I moved there the first time I missed Provo, you know. Although, missing Provo was a passing, "I don't have friends here yet" kind of feeling. Missing the Rainy Place is an ache. A pain that goes away, but always seems to come back from time to time to remind me of what I can't have.
I think I am going to start planning a Spring Break to the Rainy Place so I can get some closure on this nonsense.
Saturday, January 07, 2006
Rainy Eyes
So it has been almost a year since we moved away from the Rainy Place. It makes me a little sad still-- moving away from there really has been a grieving process for me. I think it's because I am a blue. (If you aren't familiar with the color code go here.) But basically, in this context, it means I am sentimental and get very attached to people, places and things. And I grew up in the Rainy Place-- my Mom is a blue, and she made sure we never had to move. (We switched housing, but never schools). Wonderful, blessed woman.
You know I have never experienced real grief when a person died-- either because no one super close to me has gone or because of how I feel about the afterlife-- but I have grieved for the Rainy Place. Because my dream died. Grief. Deep sadness and sense of loss.
And yet, looking back at the past year, I am amazed at how far I have come since then. I do miss that Rainy Place, but I am not having a bawl-fest every day like I did when we first came. I have met some really great people here and I am a lot more content. We have a house like we could never have had in Washington. I have learned to be more outgoing and go after things a little more. I am having another child! Clearly, my life has stabilized.
I am a little sad about something else right now, though. A something that I should be happy about, and it is this: Reenie has decided she no longer wants to sleep in her crib. She wants a bed. How do I know this? She monkey grabs me when I try to lower her into the crib and lets go easily when I put her in E's or Mommy and Daddy's bed. I should be excited, right? You know, she didn't sleep in that thing until she was more than 6 months old? She used to always just sleep in her baby seat-- so she really hasn't even been in there a year. Yeah, that's right because it's been almost a year since we moved back to Utah and we didn't even set it up for a month, at least... but now I digress...
The funny thing is, I don't know if I am more upset that she's growing up, or upset because no one is sleeping in her girly little nursery bedroom. (She'll be sleeping with E until her mattress gets here on Monday.) I have always been so worried about not rushing her to do things like I did with E, and yet, she seems to be the one stepping forward before I am ready. (Except for the nursing-- I was definitely done). I guess I just can't win. She's her own little person. Different from me or Charming, and different from E.
Anyway, please forgive the sentimentality. Just some thoughts I have been thinking.
You know I have never experienced real grief when a person died-- either because no one super close to me has gone or because of how I feel about the afterlife-- but I have grieved for the Rainy Place. Because my dream died. Grief. Deep sadness and sense of loss.
And yet, looking back at the past year, I am amazed at how far I have come since then. I do miss that Rainy Place, but I am not having a bawl-fest every day like I did when we first came. I have met some really great people here and I am a lot more content. We have a house like we could never have had in Washington. I have learned to be more outgoing and go after things a little more. I am having another child! Clearly, my life has stabilized.
I am a little sad about something else right now, though. A something that I should be happy about, and it is this: Reenie has decided she no longer wants to sleep in her crib. She wants a bed. How do I know this? She monkey grabs me when I try to lower her into the crib and lets go easily when I put her in E's or Mommy and Daddy's bed. I should be excited, right? You know, she didn't sleep in that thing until she was more than 6 months old? She used to always just sleep in her baby seat-- so she really hasn't even been in there a year. Yeah, that's right because it's been almost a year since we moved back to Utah and we didn't even set it up for a month, at least... but now I digress...
The funny thing is, I don't know if I am more upset that she's growing up, or upset because no one is sleeping in her girly little nursery bedroom. (She'll be sleeping with E until her mattress gets here on Monday.) I have always been so worried about not rushing her to do things like I did with E, and yet, she seems to be the one stepping forward before I am ready. (Except for the nursing-- I was definitely done). I guess I just can't win. She's her own little person. Different from me or Charming, and different from E.
Anyway, please forgive the sentimentality. Just some thoughts I have been thinking.
Friday, January 06, 2006
The Morning Show with Reenie and E
Reenie said her first semi-sentence this morning at 5 am! The conversation went like this:
Me: Okay, Reenie, it's time to get back in your crib and go to sleep.
Reenie: (Does a monkey grip on me)
Me: Come on, honey. Why don't you want to go to bed?
Reenie: Seep wif Dahee. (Translation: I want to sleep with Daddy. In your bed, please.)
Me: You want to sleep with Daddy?
Reenie: Yeth. (Yes)
So then this morning Charming sends her in to me saying she needs a diaper change. She walks in grabbing at her diaper saying "Poop."
So I change her, and while I am changing her, E and I have this conversation:
E: Eeeww, poopy.
Me: Yep.
E: Got weiner?
Me: No, Reenie doesn't have a weiner. She has... umm... girl parts.
E: Eeeew! Yucky!!! ( I would hope he meant the poop...)
So that's been our morning. An exciting day to come, I am sure!
Me: Okay, Reenie, it's time to get back in your crib and go to sleep.
Reenie: (Does a monkey grip on me)
Me: Come on, honey. Why don't you want to go to bed?
Reenie: Seep wif Dahee. (Translation: I want to sleep with Daddy. In your bed, please.)
Me: You want to sleep with Daddy?
Reenie: Yeth. (Yes)
So then this morning Charming sends her in to me saying she needs a diaper change. She walks in grabbing at her diaper saying "Poop."
So I change her, and while I am changing her, E and I have this conversation:
E: Eeeww, poopy.
Me: Yep.
E: Got weiner?
Me: No, Reenie doesn't have a weiner. She has... umm... girl parts.
E: Eeeew! Yucky!!! ( I would hope he meant the poop...)
So that's been our morning. An exciting day to come, I am sure!
Thursday, January 05, 2006
No Nausea Happy Happy Resolutions
The Daring One has asked me to "stop barfing and post again," so here I am.
I am actually not barfing. In fact, aside from a few stretching pains and mild nausea, I don't even really feel pregnant. My appetite is voracious, but if I had not seen that positive test, I think I still might not believe it. Now you may hate me for this "easiness of the way", but please don't-- it probably means I'll have a fussy newborn or something else equally unfun. That, and if this pregnancy follows the pattern of the previous two, I will probably have some bedrest time near the end.
Well, so we got back from Florida last night. Despite having a cold and a stuffy ear the entire trip, I had a wonderful time there. Lots of people, lots of stuff, and everytime a mess was made, it got magically cleaned up-- and usually not by me. I was never lonely and the kids got lots of attention.
That said-- I am Oh. So. Glad. To be HOME. When I walked into our clean house last night I inhaled the new paint smell that often returns after a trip, and just felt so happy. I love, love, love, LOVE our house. We are so blessed, I can't believe that I have ever had times where I have thought our house was not as big or as good as someone elses. It is just right for us, and I am so grateful to have it. Happy, happy, happy. It's a mess again today, but I am so thrilled to be able to make messes in it.
And now, to keep myself more accountable, a few of my New Year's Goals and Resolutions:
1. Play with my kids and do housework BEFORE I blog-- this may also mean no internet during the day, sorry...
2. Finish the novel I started for NANOWRIMO
3. Eat healthier-- IE more vegetables, one at lunch, two at dinner
4. Have family scripture study every day
5. Get myself to bed earlier, so I can get up earlier and start my day better
6. Serve my friends better (For the Mormons-- better visiting teaching)
7. Record a CD (I say this one every year, by the way, and have not done it yet)
8. Have more financial self control (We do pretty well-- no consumer debt, but I could do better and we could SAVE more)
9. Take one "fun for the kids" outing/field trip a month
10. In general, do more fun stuff with the kids
Not too daunting I don't think.
And by the way, Charming said we could look into getting a dog!!! Yea!!!!!
I am actually not barfing. In fact, aside from a few stretching pains and mild nausea, I don't even really feel pregnant. My appetite is voracious, but if I had not seen that positive test, I think I still might not believe it. Now you may hate me for this "easiness of the way", but please don't-- it probably means I'll have a fussy newborn or something else equally unfun. That, and if this pregnancy follows the pattern of the previous two, I will probably have some bedrest time near the end.
Well, so we got back from Florida last night. Despite having a cold and a stuffy ear the entire trip, I had a wonderful time there. Lots of people, lots of stuff, and everytime a mess was made, it got magically cleaned up-- and usually not by me. I was never lonely and the kids got lots of attention.
That said-- I am Oh. So. Glad. To be HOME. When I walked into our clean house last night I inhaled the new paint smell that often returns after a trip, and just felt so happy. I love, love, love, LOVE our house. We are so blessed, I can't believe that I have ever had times where I have thought our house was not as big or as good as someone elses. It is just right for us, and I am so grateful to have it. Happy, happy, happy. It's a mess again today, but I am so thrilled to be able to make messes in it.
And now, to keep myself more accountable, a few of my New Year's Goals and Resolutions:
1. Play with my kids and do housework BEFORE I blog-- this may also mean no internet during the day, sorry...
2. Finish the novel I started for NANOWRIMO
3. Eat healthier-- IE more vegetables, one at lunch, two at dinner
4. Have family scripture study every day
5. Get myself to bed earlier, so I can get up earlier and start my day better
6. Serve my friends better (For the Mormons-- better visiting teaching)
7. Record a CD (I say this one every year, by the way, and have not done it yet)
8. Have more financial self control (We do pretty well-- no consumer debt, but I could do better and we could SAVE more)
9. Take one "fun for the kids" outing/field trip a month
10. In general, do more fun stuff with the kids
Not too daunting I don't think.
And by the way, Charming said we could look into getting a dog!!! Yea!!!!!
Monday, January 02, 2006
Communication Immaturity: Monday's Confession
During my senior year of high school, I was in a play called "Once Upon A Mattress." It's a Princess and the Pea story and the basic premise is this: no one in the kingdom can get married before the prince does, but the prince's mother (the queen) is very, very picky about who her son should marry. This is how the play justifies the whole premarital sex issue-- people CAN"T get married, so they well, you know, umm.... you get it.
Anyway, my character, Lady Larkin, a lady of the court falls pregnant. The boy who played my, err.. lover, was rather a gross, nerdy fellow. Very nice, but not someone I would ever be in love with let alone, well, you know. And he wore funny stage makeup, so his overly large eyes and red lips were.. well, I digress. So anyway, I had this line where I tell him about my 'situation' and it was this: "I'm going to have a baby." This was the hardest, weirdest, most uncomforable line for me to say. I didn't quite know how to say it, and it never sounded quite right.
I have been having problems with that line ever since.
When I found out I was pregnant with E, my husband and knew beforehand that I probably was. He went with me to buy the test and when it came up with a positive result, I think I said something eloquent like, "Yep, pregnant." When I called my parents I said, "How would you like to be grandparents?" When I found out with Reenie, the presentation was similar.
I've never been able to say it like the way it was worded in that play. I could never say "I am going to have a baby." It just sounds weird. Ad I could never be all cutesy and surprise Charming with it, either.
And this time when I found out, I just took the pregnancy test and then told Charming, "well, go look for yourself" and then he did the announcing. I told my mom flat out, "I'm pregnant." I made my dad guess. What? You didn't know there was a this time? Well there is, and this is how I am announcing it to all of you. I am pregnant. I am going to have another baby.
(Pause, so you can all catch your breath, and pull your lower lip off the keyboard.)
Never would have thought it, eh? And I don't want to read anyone snickering about how I said I was going to wait awhile. Sometimes God has something to say about things...
Ironically, I have never taken a positive pregnancy test at home. I am always on vacation. In fact, I took a test just before we left for this vacation and it was negative. Wild.
Anyway, my character, Lady Larkin, a lady of the court falls pregnant. The boy who played my, err.. lover, was rather a gross, nerdy fellow. Very nice, but not someone I would ever be in love with let alone, well, you know. And he wore funny stage makeup, so his overly large eyes and red lips were.. well, I digress. So anyway, I had this line where I tell him about my 'situation' and it was this: "I'm going to have a baby." This was the hardest, weirdest, most uncomforable line for me to say. I didn't quite know how to say it, and it never sounded quite right.
I have been having problems with that line ever since.
When I found out I was pregnant with E, my husband and knew beforehand that I probably was. He went with me to buy the test and when it came up with a positive result, I think I said something eloquent like, "Yep, pregnant." When I called my parents I said, "How would you like to be grandparents?" When I found out with Reenie, the presentation was similar.
I've never been able to say it like the way it was worded in that play. I could never say "I am going to have a baby." It just sounds weird. Ad I could never be all cutesy and surprise Charming with it, either.
And this time when I found out, I just took the pregnancy test and then told Charming, "well, go look for yourself" and then he did the announcing. I told my mom flat out, "I'm pregnant." I made my dad guess. What? You didn't know there was a this time? Well there is, and this is how I am announcing it to all of you. I am pregnant. I am going to have another baby.
(Pause, so you can all catch your breath, and pull your lower lip off the keyboard.)
Never would have thought it, eh? And I don't want to read anyone snickering about how I said I was going to wait awhile. Sometimes God has something to say about things...
Ironically, I have never taken a positive pregnancy test at home. I am always on vacation. In fact, I took a test just before we left for this vacation and it was negative. Wild.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)