Busy but Loving It

Well, it's been a busy week and it's not over yet. I have had two Creative Memories parties this week (much success!) and tonight is Charming's Birthday Event. (He's 30 today... shhhhh...)

So here is something funny that happened the other day. The kids and I were in the bath and I told them that I had a baby in my tummy. Reenie was like hee-hee, poke, squeeze, and E says, "Yeah! That's your baby! You have a baby in there" The next day, I was on the couch and E announces, "I have to go potty." He then squeezes his belly and says, "I have a baby in here," and leaves. It was amusing.

And another day Reenie is rocking on her rocking horse and we have this conversation:

Me: Are you Reenie Smith?
Reenie: NO
Me: Are you Reenie Diaper?
Reenie: No...
Me: Are you Reenie Crazy Horse?
Reenie: Yeah.

So they are pretty cute. And I just wanted to say in this post that I have been really happy with my life lately. For those of you who have been reading for awhile, you might know that I have really struggled this past year with post-partum depression, a major move, not having friends etc, but I will say I think I have finally arrived. I am in a place where I feel like I could stay for awhile, I am starting to feel like I have friends that I can just call up and ask to hang out, and things are going pretty well. So yea for me.

That Crazy E Kid

So, sorry it's been a few days. I have been busy, and I may not post again for a few more days after this. But don't be sad, be happy that I am doing so well that I don't need to blog!

Yeah, so E. He's funny. He got this blood blister about a week ago and then it popped, so he of course felt that he needed a band-aid. We gave it to him, but every time it came off, he cried and begged for it back. So we just kept giving him new ones. Until he no longer wanted a new one... he wanted the same one. I looked at the band-aid he was wearing yesterday and let me tell you it was nasty. It was all frayed and dirty and gross. This morning it was gone, and I assumed it had fallen off in the night or Charming had secretly removed it. Whatever. E seemed not to miss it. Then when we were leaving for the store today we open the door to the garage and he gasps. "Oh NO! What is THAT on the Ground?" he says. I thought he meant the paint cans. Nope, he had seen one of his bandaids, still in its little finger roll. It was not el-nastito band-aid-ito from yesterday but one from earlier this week. Despite my objections, he insisted on wearing it.

Eeeww, gross.

And now more from funny E.

A little while ago, Daring Young Mom held a contest to name her new van. At the time I remember thinking, "I need a name for my van too." Well, apparently I don't need to worry about that anymore. E informed us yesterday that the van's name is Lady. Wheew! Glad I got that one taken care of.

Cucumber

I couldn't come up with a good title for this post, so I just used the first word that came to mind.

Anyway.

We have this cute book at our house called "The Way I Feel" by Janan Cain. Each page talks about a different feeling. For example, the last page is PROUD. I was reading it with Reenie today and noticed that she was sort of saying the words along with me. So I decided to leave off the last word on the page and let her fill it in. It went like this:

Me: "Proud. I did it! I did it! I shout to the crowd. Getting dressed by myself makes me feel..."
Reenie: Happy.

The correct word is obviously proud, but I just thought it was cute how she sensed that they were similar emotions. Pretty smart for a year and half. And very cute.

And on another topic, I have been cleaning today. I have several methods that I would like to share with you for tackling the big overwhelming looking messes:

1.Listen to Music. A must for the cleaning. Today I chose some music by the Bulgarian Women's Choir

2. Start in one area and work your way around. Sometimes this means just picking a corner and moving along until everything is spotless, or you can choose an area to start with such as the floor and then move to countertops (this is what I did today.)

3. If you are really overwhelmed give yourself a time limit. Say "I am going to clean for twenty minutes straight," and then set the timer. Often you will find you can keep going, and you will be amazed at what you can do in a small amount of time.

Anyway. That's my post today. My cute kid, and my cleaning tips. Cucumber. Go figure.

Something Serious

I have a friend who has been married for over a decade, is still young, and is childless much to her own pain and sorrow. It always makes me sad for her and I never know what to say and when I found out I was pregnant I was scared to tell her. And I wonder why it is that she who wants children so badly, should not be allowed to have them, when other people who maybe don't want children or who don't really care have them so easily and sometimes mistreat them. I just struggle with this so much as I can't understand why life is so unfair sometimes. Here's me white knuckling the journey to having a third child, and here's so and so struggling with fertility.

I guess I just have to trust that Heavenly Father is aware of everyone and knows what's best and in the end has a greater plan than any of us can fathom.

The other night as I lay next to my children trying to help them get back to sleep, I thought of my childless friend. I thought of all the things that she can do because she does not have kids. And I asked myself the important question-- "would I trade my kids so I could have those things?"

And of course the answer was no.

Even though I am rarely put together, even though my house is general chaos most of the time, and even though I am putting many of my own dreams on hold, I would never ever trade this life and these children for anything. Even though they are my greatest trial, they bring me such joy and they are so incredibly wonderful.

And I continue to wish and pray and hope for my childless friends out there. I desperately wish for you to be blessed with what I have. But if you never are, know that God still loves you and He sees the whole picture. And I know that I can not know your pain, but that He can and the Savior can. And even though I don't understand why we are all given such different challenges int his life, He does. And though I trust that God is in charge and knows everything, I sometimes wish I could have a little glimpse so I could understand things a little better myself.

And I am stopping my religiousy tangent now. I just wanted to get that off my chest. Something more lighthearted next post.

Warts and Fame

This post is about two things: my experience yesterday with some wart removal and fame and blogrolls. Okay fine, three things.

So I went to the doctor yesterday to have some warts removed off of the bottoms of my feet. I have had the “big one” since I was pregnant with E (in other words, four years) and I am pretty tired of it. First of all when I get there, they take me to the “procedure room.” This sounded slightly daunting, as you can imagine. Shelves filled with all kinds of medical things, and lots of football memorabilia including pictures of Steve Young and a Joe Nameth signed jersey. And then the doc comes in. He looks at my feet, makes a comment about their nastiness and tells me what we are going to do. So then here I am laying on my stomach (thank goodness I am not further along) with my bum facing the doc while he burns the living daylights out of my feet. Well, freezes actually, but the sensation was stinging, fiery heck-like burning.

And then I am done. He tells me the stinging should go away in about twenty minutes. It's not really that bad now, I think to myself. I limp to my car, feeling like a dork, and start the drive home. It is not long into the drive when the “stinging” begins. Let me clarify-- burning worse than the initial 'procedure. In fact, I seriously had to check to make sure there was not an actual fire coming from my shoes as it was my entire feet that were in pain and not just the wart sites. Thinking how unsafe of a driver I must be, I drive with as much care and speed as I can to get home.

Now let me just tell you, a little wart removal causes a lot of pain (more than twenty minutes worth) and paraplegic type behavior. I limped and crawled around my house all afternoon and evening until my blessed bedtime arrived. Feeling better today, but still limping.

So in my limping state I receive a phone call from a friend yesterday. She tells me some exciting news about her blog, basically indicating that she is about to become very popular and famous. I am happy for her as she is very talented and cool. But it starts me a 'thinkin.

I want to be famous.

Why? I ask myself. Surely it is not so that my life can be public property or so that I can be chased by paparazzi. But I think that each of us desires a little fame so that we can be recognized. So that we can feel special, or important. We want to be popular and well liked. And I think this is part of the reason that I blog. People that don't even know me are reading me and essentially validating me and saying, “we think you're cool.” It's this desire for “fame” as it were, that makes me upset when I get no comments or feel rejected when someone removes me from their blogroll.

Yes, I was recently removed from someone's blogroll. Devastating. (Although, she and I have since come to an understanding.) But you know what? As I thought about it, I realized that there really is only one blogroll that matters. Heavenly Father has a blogroll of inifinite proportions, and He is reading the blog of my life every day and not missing a single detail. He is aware of me and He loves me and He is laughing and crying right along with me. He may not always leave comments, but I can always tell him what I am thinking and feel His love for me. And the best part? Everyone is on His blogroll-- He never deletes them, even when He finds their material offensive. Isn't that so great? I may not be famous, but I am important and special. And somebody really important thinks that I am awesome.

Royal Sleep Requires a King

My mom has a king sized bed that she paid $2.50 for. Yes you read that right, it cost two dollars and fifty cents. She has a knack for getting the great deals, though actually, my stepdad was the one who scored this one. He was at an auction with my grandpa and no one was bidding on this king sized mattress (of course it has a waterbed frame, and that's a little unusual) and so when the auctioneer got down to $2.50 my stepdad was like, "what they hey, I'll go for it." Now they have a king sized bed that cost them less than a kids meal at Carl's Jr.

And I am jealous.

E last night climbed into our bed at 2 am. Charming didn't notice this, even though E climbed directly over him to get in. For whatever reason, E feels he must sleep on his back to take up as much room on the bed as possible. In addition to this he has a reflex that causes him to swing his arm out when he is sleeping on his back. So, yes, I was smacked in the face for three hours by a three year old until I finally asked Charming to put the boy in his own bed. My husband is a deep sleeper, and he is not very coherent when you wake him. Since he didn't know E was in our bed, I don't know that he knew what I had asked him to do. He asked me, "how do I do it?" Ummm, pick him up and put him in his bed.

Anyway. I so very desperately desire a king size bed of my very own. Anyone selling one? I don't think I can pay more than two dollars and fifty cents. Let me know if you hear of anything. And umm, don't forget to add on to the story from the last post. It needs your mad writing skills!

My Life as Fiction

The Princess Mom awoke to an unusual morning sound-- silence. But where were the children? Sleeping? But no! It couldn't be. But it was indeed true, the children and Charming had slept in. She poked her sleeping husband and asked him if he was planning on going to work.
"Yes, I am going," he said.
"Well you better get up," she told him.
"Don't worry," he said. "I'll get there by nine."
She looked at the clock and shook her head. It was 8:22.

The Princess Mom sighed. How wonderful that she could sleep in now if she wanted to. And yet, her stomach grumbled. Cheerios with bananas and strawberries, she thought. And the concoction sounded so tempting she had to get out of bed.

Before heading downstairs she looked out the window. Pure whiteness. Snow was blowing all directions and a good 8 or 9 inches covered the ground. She found the sight beautiful and yet knew it would blow all her plans for the day. Well, at least I won't have to sit through the most boring and age inappropriate story time ever at the library, was her reassuring feeling. But it is March, time for spring! I want to garden and go to the park! Her irritation soon gone, she went down to eat her breakfast.

Charming arrived downstairs at 9:30, ready to leave for work. "Do you want to shovel today, or should I do it?"he naively asked her. She gave him the look. He got the shovel and set out to clearing the driveway. She went upstairs, found the children playing with their new train table, and started thinking about a shower. As she gathered up her clothes, she sighed yet again. Ugh, maternity undergarments. Am I that big already? Resigned to her fate, she set off to get clean, but first she took a minute to peer out the window to watch her husband hard at work with the snow shovel. She noticed that no one else had done their driveways and opened the window to tell him so.
"Yeah, well Wednesday is not a big working day," he joked.
"Mmm hmm. I hear it's becoming the new Saturday," she said back.
"Most people are thinking they want a break in the middle of the week instead of two days at the end," he finished.
"You're funny," she told him as she shut the window and went on with her routine.

Ten minutes later, showered and dressed, the Princess Mom went downstairs and started the hot cocoa maker. (Yes there is such a thing). When Charming came in they both had a frothy cup of hot chocolate, said their morning family prayer and then he was off to work. It was 10 am.
Well, she thought, time to start my day. She started to clean but was interupted by...

Okay, you know the drill. Time for you to finish up the story. Come on, make my day a little more interesting...

Monday Morning Confessions: Things I Cannot Do

Okay, so it's actually Sunday night, but I am sure you'll get over it... Anyway, things I can't do, taking a deep breath and hoping you won't judge me...

1. Crochet

I have mentioned this one before, but you know I will tell you again, I just can't do it. Many have tried to teach me, many have failed.

2. Measure out the correct amount of dry pasta to get the correct quantity of cooked pasta

I typically err on the side of too much, which is typically what I get-- too many noodles. Better than not enough, I guess.

3. Cut E's hair in a normal, not retarded looking style

I blame the boy for this. It really is his fault more than it is mine, since he's the one who jerks his head at just the wrong moment so that his hair is cut really short in the back. Now, even if it wasn't me who had cut the hair, people are still going to be looking at me funny. This is the sad thing-- I get the funny looks when he's the one who looks like he took a weed whacker to his own head.

4. Understand why my kids are so weird

Okay, this uis just an excuse to post the following conversation with my 18 month old

Me: (pointing at myself) Who's this?
Reenie: Mommo (No it's not a typo, she does call me Momm-O from time to time)
Me: (pointing to Reenie) Who's this?
Reenie: E! (her brother's name) Ha ha ha hee hee ho.
Me: No, who is this? (still pointing to her)
Reenie: E! (more laughter)
Me: (pointing at E) Then who's that?
Reenie: E.
Me:Then who are you?
Reenie: Daddy. Ah ha ha ho ho hee hee hee.
Me: No, you're Reenie. Can you say Reenie?
Reenie: Yep.
Me: Say Reenie!
Reenie: E.

I don't know if she's pulling my leg or if she is confused as to how names work. It could be the latter since she frequently calls me Daddy or Charming Mommy. Weird kid.

5. Turn off the smoke alarm, apparently

Small kitchen fire tonight, err uh last night since this is umm, Monday's confessions. Anyway, the smoke alarm gets going and I get my chair and try to turn the cursed thing off (it doesn't take much smoke to get a reaction throughout the house). No dice. The alarm is screaming in my ears and I am trying desperately to turn it off, holding the button for a long time, or pushing it rapidly, and I get nothing. Nothing. Nothing but loudness in my ears. Charming comes down, turns it off, and gives me a dirty look (he has sensitive ears) and leaves. Oh well. I can put out a kitchen fire anyway-- baking soda, it really works.

Okay, so enough about me. I know none of you are all powerful or infinitely talented (though some of you may come close) so make me feel better about my own shortcomings. What can't you do?

The Snore Factor

Okay, so Charming doesn't really snore, thankfully. This is good because my dad snores like a grizzly bear. In fact, we went camping one summer and I was convinced there was a bear outside until I realized it was just Dad snoring away as usual. It's pretty bad.

But not Charming. He doesn't snore. Usually. The one exception is this-- if he is lying on his back, he will snore up something fierce. It is a process, actually. It starts with slow heavy breathing that gets louder and louder until it is a full blown snore. I can usually get him to stop if I tell him in my ever so sweet will-you-quit-the-noise-I'm-trying-to-sleep voice, "You're snoring. Roll onto your side." He pretty much complies. Last night as I lie awake for about 2 hours between 3 and 5, I had to tell him at the loud breathing stage, "Honey, roll over, you're breathing loudly." How picky is that?

My grandpa used to fall asleep in his chair watching television at night. I would bet for probably at least the last ten years of his life he slept his nights in his chair. And he would snore. In fact when he died, and I went to see his body he just looked asleep to me, and I kept expecting to hear his ever familiar snoring sound. The reason I mention this is because E has recently developed a preference to sleep in his chair in his room. Usually I make Charming go in there and put him in his bed, but last night I fell asleep before I could remind him. E spent all night in his chair. Just like Grandpa, but without the snores. Someday he'll have them I'm sure, but thankfully not yet.

And slightly off topic-- why is it that when Reenie (our nigthtime waker-upper) begins actually sleeping all night long, that E must wake up at 3 am demanding milk and songs from his ever so exhausted mother? How fair is it, that said milk getting and singing woke up said mother so much to the point that she (well me, actually) could not get back to sleep for two whole hours? Fair? I think not. But I guess I should just be glad that neither my husband nor my son snore loud enough for me to need to sleep on the couch. I am oh so glad about that.

Monday Morning Confessions: Things I have learned recently

Just a few factoids you might be interested in...

1. It is possible for Reenie to sleep through the night, as she did it twice this past week. It's not possible for me, however.

2. For a three year old, watching someone cross stich is highly entertaining and amusing.

3. 18 month olds can make pee in the potty chair!

4. Charming (who turns 30 this month) had a plan to grow a mustache. This morning he changed his mind and shaved.

5. Hearing an 18 month old repeat the phrase "Oh man, oh man," over and over again is like, the cutest thing ever. (She got this from the bro, not from us.)

6. I am still susceptible to the morning sickness pukes. (And Reenie will stand by me and toss toilet paper in the john while I am at it).

7. Reenie is quite good at putting on her own eyeliner.

8. We have a gopher or something in out backyard.

9. Suggesting to your husband that you want to paint your living room does not always get desirable reactions. (After seeing other non-white walls, he has changed his opinion, by the way.)

Okay, it's your turn-- what little factoids have you picked up this weekend that you are dying to share?

In which a picture will NOT be posted

Okay, so I have a confession.

It is beyond time for me to clean out my microwave.

I will not be posting an image, as it is far too, ummm, not for virgin eyes, I guess. But I figure the reason it has gotten so bad is this: I am short and my microwave is up high. I would wipe it down after every spill, if I could reach it without needing to get a stool. So there you go. My height is my excuse. Short people are allowed to have dirty microwaves. 'Nuff said.

And here are some funny, strange, or uncomfortable things that have happened this past week or so:

*Reenie developed a nasty rash all over her back (eczema, we believe)
*E out of the blue, randomly started picking up his own toys without being asked
*My dad asked me if I was "showing yet"
*My dad told me an off color joke about marital se*
*Reenie put her finger in my nose so hard that it bled
*I beat a video game
*Reenie was putting her mouth on a step stool and E said: "Reenie! Don't eat stool!"

Okay, not a lot going on. But we have gone to the park twice this week as it is starting to thaw out here. Yea! I have never wanted summer so badly in my entire life.

Where is everyone?

Okay, so fewer than few comments lately....

But the sitemeter says you all came...

Where's the love?

Did I scare you all off with my Creative Memories plug?

I sure hope not.

I am sorry if I did.

Please come back.

Creative Memories: Shameless Promotion

Okay, so this is my second post today, but I wanted to let you know about an exciting update in my Creative Memories life!

I now have a website where anyone can order Creative Memories products from me and have them shipped straight to their own home!

If you have a lot of photos, and aren't into the fancy scrapbooking, please check out my site!

We even have these:

Monday Morning Confessions: Personal Habits that Bug the Hub

Now, don't get me wrong, Charming is a wonderful man who loves me just the way I am. But there are a few things that from time to time earn me some gentle reminders...

1. When using a condiment at the table, I don't screw the lid on all the way
I figure someone else might want to use it, so why tighten it all the way? I set the lid on top, so it doesn't get lost, and leave it where it is. This bugs Charming because it looks like the lid is on, and he doesn't want to spill...

2. I drive on the lawn
Only sometimes, and only when backing out of our miniature two car garage. We seriously have the smallest two car garage known to man, and since I already knocked our mirror off the right side, how am I supposed to know if I am driving on the grass or not?

3. I don't turn my clothes right side out before I wash them
I just take them off and throw them in the laundry basket. Or I leave them on the floor... another peeve of his.

4. I don't put the food away immediately after I use it
I'm hungry! I make the food, I eat it, and then I clean it up. Usually...

5. I leave out sharp objects
I really don't do this that often. But every once in a while, pins get into the carpet or a knife gets left on the counter, and oh, I so hear about it.

Okay, so don't make me feel like the only one! I know you guys do some things that bug your hubbies (or someone else, if you are unmarried). So c'mon, don't leave me hanging. What are the annoying things that you do?

I am having a blog block, so now a little something I have been saving...

What My Life is Now
(by me)

It is a phase, filled with little people who need me. People for whom I am their comfort, their protection and their love.
Mt life is saying no to fruit snacks one minute, and then giving them away like oxygen the next because I need to talk on the phone.
It is loneliness.
It is chaos.
It is exquisite bliss and joy.
Seeing their smiles, hearing their laughter and feeling their tiny hands in mine.
"I need you Mama"
"I love you Mama"
"Can I get some more chocoalte milk over here Mama?"
It is never sleeping the whole night through sometimes just out of habit.
It is wiggly toddlers sleeping next to me.
It is laughter.
It is tears.
It is being vulnerable as I watch a part of me walk away and grow up, becoming subject to the travails of the world.
It is not always knowing what to do, and worrying that my little ones won't turn out just right.
"Don't do that to your sister"
"Put the eggs back in the fridge"
"Can you please make poop on the potty?"
It is never having a clean house, and yet not being able to fully blame that on the children.
It is finding delight in their newfound skills or their new favorite things.
It is the following food groups: Ramen, Macaroni, Goldfish Crackers, Cheeri-os and Fruit Snacks.
It is leftovers for dinner.
It is compromise.
It is loving deeply.
And sometimes yelling.
Somedays the smells of the body fluids make me gag.
Somedays we veg.
Somedays we over do it a little.
Somedays I wouldn't change a thing.
Somedays I just want out.
My life now is something it will never be again.
It is changed forever.
And someday these little people won't need me or love me near as much as they do now.
And someday I'll look back and be sad about that.
And then, hopefully someday, I'll get to be Grandma, who seems to have a really great job.
But still, I like my job too.
It works.
I'll keep it.
For as long as the position is open, I'll keep it.

Rolling it Up

Okay, so over the weekend Charming bought a PS2. He already had one game for it, and so he started playing a crazy game called Katamari Damacy. The object of the game is this: you have a big ball and you roll it around various places picking up all kinds of stuff, that stick to your ball (your katamari) making it bigger and bigger and bigger. You then give your ginormous katamari ball to the King of all Cosmos who hurls it into the sky and it becomes a star. It's weird, and quite fun. I am developing an addiction to this wacky video game.

Anyway, so last night as I was trying to sleep and trying to figure out how to get Reenie to not cry and go to sleep herself, I thought about this game. And I thought to myself-- that is what I want. I want my own katamari ball that I can roll around my living room, my kitchen and pick up all the toys and crud and then just hurl it into the sky and be done with it. Doesn't that sound great? So if anyone has a spare katamari for sale, let me know. Maybe I'll try E-bay.

Frumpy Ump

Well, it has been a lovely week-end. My mommy came to stay with me, and I was amazed at how in minutes she could do the same amount of cleaning that takes me ummm... days. Yeah, it was great.

What is not so great, is that I have officially reached the frumpy stage of my pregnancy. I must now wear pants that fit me in the waist but are overly large in ever other place. My shirts must either be too baggy or especially tight and curve defining. I am too big for my normal clothes and too small for maternity clothes, and therefore I look frumpy, folks. I hate to say it, but I am a baggedy, frumpedy mess, and add to that the fact that I am still not wearing make-up or spending time on my hair, and you have, well a Frumper. A Frumperis Majoris. A big ol' pile of Frumpocity.

And so I wait. I wait for my belly to rapidly expand so I at least look pregnant and not, hmm, let's say bulgy. Because then I can pull all my cute maternity clothes out of storage and I can even go shopping for more. Hooray!

And does anyone have any suggestions as to how I can beat the frump? I don't really remember what I did before. That is, if I did anything at all...

My Apologies

If you happened to be at the Salt Lake Airport last night between 9:45 pm and 10 pm, and you were waiting at baggage carousel 2 for your stuff, when it suddenly stopped, I offer you my apologies. It was my son who pushed the emergency stop button. I am sorry. He has a love affair with buttons.

Let the Games Begin

This post is about three things: The Share the Love Blog Awards, The Olympics and people who are mean.

Well, I haven't said it before, but I have been nominated thrice in the Share the Love Blog Awards. I have tried to put the banner up, but can't get it to work. Anyway. The reason I haven't said anything about it, is because, well, I don't know. I think it's lovely and I am more flattered than anything that someone would actually nominate me, that winning doesn't matter. I am just happy to have more readers and commentors. I am just happy to be. So go ahead and vote for me, if you want to, but being nominated is more than enough for my self-esteem.

And so, has anyone been watching the Olympics? I have watched enough to know that the semi-boring events are broadcast during the day and the good events keep you up until past bedtime. Well okay, so here's the thing: is it Un-American of me to be happy when the U.S. does not win? I just feel bad when we totally dominate since we are so obnoxious as it is-- and cocky. I almost feel more satisfaction when another country wins than when we win a medal. Is this totally weird? I don't know. But I was totally embarassed when the United States walked in during the parade of nations and they were hooting and hollering and one athlete was chatting on her cell phone! Go USA. Go Everyone Else!

And okay. So, mean people. Someone (I won't say who, but you can find out if you read DYM) has decided to be a big meany about the Share the Love Blog Awards. Awards that were set up to not put us into categories, except that of women bloggers. This person is offering her own reward for the person(s) who can correctly categorize the different nominated blogs into Christian, Mormon, and Unknown columns. This is ridiculous. The whole point was to step away from this nonsensy-nonsense, and here she goes stuffing her big meany nose in it. And I don't like to be mean to people or stir up controversy, but come on. She needs to get a flipping life.

And I don't typically talk openly about my faith on my blog, because: 1. I don't need to do so in order to feel like I am a good Mormon (which I am) and 2. that's not what my blog is about. My blog is about my Mommy struggles and my silly ideas about stuff. That's it. I want to connect with all types of people in the areas that we are similar, not exclude people who don't believe the same as me. And it is not because I am out to convert anyone either-- I don't know that that's possible over the internet anyway-- but it is because I like all different types of people and think that EVERYONE has something valuable to say and that all people are of great value. I hope you agree on this point.

So there it is. Let the games begin.

What do YOU think?

Bummers and Boogers

Have you ever met someone that from the outside appears to be someone you could really hit it off with, but when they open their mouth, you realize how oh-so-very-wrong you were?

Yes, this happened to me yesterday at a church-sponsored scrapbooking group. She was one of three to show up. Right off, I notice she has a Creative Memories bag, so I ask her, "Oh, so you do Creative Memories, too?" No, she says. Later she explains that her sister had gotten involved in it, so her mother bought everyone Creative Memories stuff to support her daughter.

Me: Oh. I am actually a consultant.
Her: Oh, then you don't want to know my opinion on it.
Me: Oh?
Her: Yeah, I think they are WAY too expensive and I pretty much hate all multi-level marketing set-ups.
Me: Huh.

Okay, so I think it's a bit pricey too, but it was the way she said it, and c'mon this is our first interaction. You don't tell someone that the thing they are involved in sucks the first time you talk to them. Alright, so moving on. This lady has two kids around the same ages as mine and she is also pregnant, like me, and due around the same time. Perfect, I think.

Me: So are you scared or excited to have three?
Her: I don't really think about it much.
Me: (WHAT??? I am scared out of my ever loving mind) Oh, really?
Her: Yeah, half the time I forget that I am pregnant.
Me: (WHAT?????? If only I didn't feel so blasted fat and nauseated maybe I'd forget too.) Huh.

Yeah, not a good match. Not a good match at all.

And in other news, we have had a lot of "booger talk" around here lately. Yesterday, E and I had this conversation:

Me: What are you eating?
E: Nose.
Me: Are you eating boogers?
E: Yes.
Me:That's disgusting

Then this morning:

Reenie: (pointing these things out) Eyes. Nose.
E: Where's my nose? (Points to it).
Me: That's right, E.
E: It's got boogers in it. (Sniffs up the snots)

I then tell Charming about the previous conversation to which E responds, "That's disgusting."

Lovely. All of it lovely.

My Son, the Cake Eating Ketchup

Last night we had a lovely Valentine's Day dinner at home. We had shrimp, steak, and the most decadent chocolate tuxedo cake that I bought at Smith Meyer. (Used to be Fred Meyer, now Smith's Marketplace.) It was nice.

This morning I made the mistake of addressing E as "son." I was quickly informed that he was not "son" but was indeed E. This conversation ensued:

E: I'm E.
Me: Yes. Are you E. Smith?
E: No, I am not E. Smith. I am E Ketch.
Me: E Ketch?
E: I am E the Ketchup.

Well, it turns out that he is actually E the cake snatcher. I came down moments ago to see my three year old sitting at the table, open cake box in front of him, ready for a little dessert. He wanted some "birthday cake" apparently.

Monday Morning Confessions: Food

Okay, so I haven't done the Monday Morning Confessions in a while, but I think I am going to start doing them with a theme. Today's theme: Food.

1.My favorite breakfast food is Chocolate Cake

It's true. A bad (or good) habit I picked up in jr. high. C'mon tell me you don't like it.

2.I don't like nuts in things

Nuts alone are pretty good. Although we can't eat them now because of Reenie's allergy-- especially after this happened. But even before that, I couldn't stand them in things like cookies or ice cream. The texture change-- yuck! Bowls of Rocky Road would come back with a bunch of little slobbery nuts leftover. Anyway.

3. I don't do spicy

When I eat a spicy food, all I can taste is the burning sensation in my mouth. The flavor of the food is really hard to get to.

4. I don't like Red Delicious apples

Of all the varieties of apples, this is the least delicious to me. So why did they add the word delicious to the end of it? To make people think they taste good-- to trick them into buying them.

5. I am a beef-aholic

My apologies to the vegetarians, but man do I love a good steak. My midwife recently asked me if I was a meat eater (since I need the extra protein) and my husband gave an emphatic YES. Forget the chicken. Give me the red stuff.

Well, that's it. I guess I don't have any truly strange eating habits. (Unlike Charming who can't have his vegetables be too big, and won't eat chicken with red sauce.) But there it is. What are your unique eating habits or food preferences? C'mon, fess up.

A secret present and a question

Charming and E come back from a trip to the grocery store:

E: Mommy! Do you want a heart present?
Me: What?
E: Do you want a present? A Secret Present?

Later:

E: Mom, do you want to get your present?
Me: No.
E:Let's go unwrap it.
Me: So what is my present?
E: It's a Secret Present. C'mon, let's go get it.

Hmmmm.... Charming probably would have done better to say nothing to him at all about it, although it was clear to me that E didn't actually know what it was.

So, on another topic, I am wondering if anyone can explain to me the following:

I usually wake up a few hours after I have gone to bed because I have to pee, and yet I am totally parched and dried out. I use the toilet, take a small drink, and wake up hours later with yet another full bladder. How on earth is this possible? I am so dry, I drink nothing and yet wake up multiple times a night to pee buckets! Anyone know about this?

My Super Powers

I was on the phone with a friend this morning discussing some strange dreams I have had lately. During our conversation, she mentioned that she doesn't have the same super powers in her dreams as I have in mine. This got me thinking and well, here we are. In my dreams, I typically have the following super powers:

1. I can fly
This power comes in great when I am trying to escape from bad guys. I just jump and into the air and I soar. I have trouble, however, in trying to fly while carrying someone else. I just don't fly as well when carrying one of my children, for example. I do much better when not weighed down.

2. I can be invisible
This is a fairly recent development. I have not always had the power of invisibility. I like it though. Comes in pretty handy.

3. I can go through glass
This is a good one. It has taken me some time to fine tune it, but it is very useful. Especially when I am in a tall building and I fly to the top and need to get out. I just stick my hands in front of me and I glide straight through windows. Great super power.

Okay, so am I totally weird? What do you think these mean? And what super powers do you have when you dream?

Ludicrous Speed--- GO!

Well, the ball of chaos came back this morning.

E woke up (I happened to be sleeping next to him in Reenie's bed) at 5:30 this morning, whining for MILK. The whining turned to screaming when I told him it wasn't going to happen. When Charming finally got him some milk, he no longer wanted it. He would scream he wanted Mommy and then when I came in he'd tell me to go back to bed. Finally he decided he wanted to go downstairs. He wanted me to come too, and he screamed and cried, "MOMMY!!! MOMMY!!!" So I went down, turned on a video and went back to bed. 10 minutes later, the begging returned.

At some point it quieted down, and I went back to sleep.

Apparently, Charming went down and laid on the couch while E played. Daddy forgave him when he woke up to a bowl of cereal on his lap and a pretzel. E wanted to share. When Charming got up, he found a bowl on the table filled to the brim (no spills!) with Pirates of the Caribbean cereal. (Don't buy this cereal, by the way, it is basically cocoa puffs and marshmallows).

And now, if you'lll excuse me, I need to go downstairs and clean up the chocolate milk that Reenie spilled EVERYWHERE.

The Case for Crafts

Lately, I have been working on these:


I know, I know. I am the most creative person, ever.

Just kidding.

So here's the thing: I really enjoy doing little stuff like this. (These are Valentine's Day cards, by the way...) For whatever reason, creating little crafty stuff like these or doing my scrapbook during the day makes me feel like I have done something special. Like my life is more than just dishes and diaper duty. I am suddenly flipping amazing, and not just a regular ol' mom of tots. And I like doing things like this because they are quick and I can see the results right away. (Unlike needlework, which I also sometimes do, that takes weeks or months to see the final product). Instant gratification. Instant self-esteem boost. Something to do with my hands other than cleaning up poo. Yea!!!

So yes, I enjoy the arts and crafts. They make me feel happy. You should try some too.

An Open Letter to my Electric Toothbrush

Dear sir or madam,

After a long time apart, I would like to express my gratitude at your return. I have to admit, it is partly my fault that you spent so much time in Suitcase in the Closet land, and if it hadn't been for my need to return Red Suitcase, we might never have been reunited. But it is over my friend, and we are at last together again.

My tooth-brushing experience in your absence was ever so dull and commonplace. Your tiny toothbrush head, fits so nicely and unobtrusively in my mouth, not like Aquafresh Toothbrush, that big space stealing jerk. You, however, are just the right size.

When I used you yesterday morning, after your first night back on the charger, I felt like I was in Oral-B Heaven. It was a personal massage for my teeth and gums. Oh, the ecstasy! I cannot believe that ever entertained the thought of leaving you forever! The way you just moved so rapidly, eradicating every piece of the offending plaque! My motions were so effortless, and yet I felt a deeper sense of toothy clean than I have felt in the past month. You are amazing!

And so on this note, thank you. I love you, love you, love you!

Sincerely,

Stephanie and Her Mouth

A Story Written by You and Me

When I was in junior high I used to play this game with my friends at school and with my sisters on roadtrips. It's a writing game that can be a lot of fun. Here is what you do: the first person (in this case me) in a couple of paragraphs writes the beginning of a story. It doesn't matter what it's about, but ideally the author will stop writing right at a critical or suspenseful moment, and then pass the story to the next person. The next person picks up right where the first person left off, they write a few more paragraphs leaving a new suspenseful moment at the end for the next person to fill it in. And then the next person does the same thing, and so on and so forth. We usually passed it around several times so we all had lots of chances to write. When I played it with my sisters, we would get pretty mean, but looking back on them, they were hilarious!

Okay, so I have started the story and I hope that the rest of you will post your continuations of the story in the comments. Be sure to make the story pick up where the last commentor left off, and not where I did (unless you are the first person to comment). You are allowed to come back and post anytime you want. It should be a lot of fun-- so here goes! (Remember to keep it clean and inoffensive.)

The Story

It was a rainy evening and the children were finally in bed. The young and tired mother parted the curtains in her room to look down on her little street and listen to the rain. She reviewed her day in her mind-- it had been overcast and she and her children had been stuck inside all day long. Between watching Baby Einstein, breaking up little squabbles and wiping yogurt off of multiple types of surfaces, she hadn't had a moment to herself. And to top it off, it had been ramen special for dinner again. To say her day hadn't been glamorous would have been an understatement. Pretty unexciting and dull indeed. When would it end? she asked herself as she let out a sigh.

Right about now she would have loved to either curl up with a book or converse with her husband (who happened to be working on the computer in the next room), but she was so exhausted that she knew she must sleep instead. Oh well, she thought, another time, perhaps. She climbed into bed and closed her eyes. Sometimes at night as she fell asleep, she pretended that she was someone else. A princess or someone, and that her queen sized bed which seemed too small, was actually a huge four poster bed with a canopy and she was in a castle sleeping in a white nightdress on satin sheets. Tonight was no exception, and in her pretending she soon fell asleep and started to dream.

In her dream she was the royal princess that she had imagined. She was asleep in the four poster bed, and when she awoke in the morning it was a leisurely hour, and servants brought her children to her-- already bathed, fed and dressed. They played pleasantly together, the mother and her babes, until the toddler's diaper needed to be changed, at which point a nurse maid came and took care of it. Luxury! Lunch was taken in the dining hall, the Princess Mom did not have to think about it, prepare it or clean up after it. After the meal the children were put down for a nap, and the young mother had some time to herself. (Not that she had to wait for naptime to have time alone, she could have had anytime she wanted in this Fantasy Land). She was a bit tired, but instead of sleeping she decided to take a stroll in the garden. She got on her shoes and jacket and headed out. It was a crisp day, but as she approached the garden she saw something strange. It was something she had never seen before, and as she approached it--- oh my! It was a.....

Why Be Rational When You Can be a Screaming Ball of Chaos?

Here's the set-up: It is 7:50pm and time for the bath. E of course refuses to go upstairs to the tub. When we get his kicking, screaming body into the bathroom, more tears ensue.

E: I want to go to BED!!!!
Charming: (Taking E's clothes off)
E: I'm TIRED!!! (More tears and crying as he is placed in the tub)
Me: Just sit down, E.
E: Waaaahhhh! Waaaaaaahhhh! (He sits down)

Moments later, he watches Reenie being washed by Charming, with an I-am-getting-pleasure- from-your-pain look on his face. Then it's his turn. Many, many tears. He is then taken from the tub and wrapped in a towel.

E: I want to hold you!
Charming: Okay. (Holds him and then puts him down)
E: I want on Daddy!!! (Charming briefly holds him again) I want to go to bed!
Me: Okay, let's go potty and get your jammies on.
E: NOOOOOOOO! I wanna go to BED!!!!!!!
Me: Okay, but first we need to go potty and get jammies on.
E: Waaaaahhhh! Waaaaahhhhh!

We then proceed to the bathroom. He is placed on the toilet, he pees and I take him off.

E: I'm cold.
Me: Okay, then let's get the jammies and you can be warm.
E: I wanna be warm.
Me: Okay. (I start putting his arm in the pajamas)
E: (Yanks his arm away and falls in a crumpled pile on the floor) WAAAAHHHH!!!! I wanna be warm!!! I want CLOTHES!

After much struggle and tears, the jammies are on.

E: Where's my BELLY? I want MY BELLY!!!!! I need clothes!!!
Me: E, it's still here.
E: Zip down, MOM!!!
Me: (I zip it down) See? You're belly is right there.
E: (Lovingly caresses his belly)
Me: (Zipping up his jammies) Okay?
E: WAAAAAHHHH!!!! MY BELLY'S GONE!!!!! I want MILK!!!!!
Me: Don't you wanna go to bed?
E:NOOOOOOOO!!!!!

He then goes into his room to tell his Daddy that he wants his belly, and asks him to unzip it. We finally get him in bed with his blanket and then he asks for milk again. Charming brings it, I lay next to him for a few minutes and then leave. And then, he falls asleep, hallelujah.

Apparently, he was just really tired. And hey, I get the same way sometimes.

Fake Puke gets No Tears

So yeah, the morning sickness. So far, no actual vomit.

I have, however, had some near puke experiences.

Now, the problem is this: no one has any sympathy for the almost ralphing. No sympathy at all.

Me: I almost puked like five times today.
Charming: (Skeptically) You almost puked?
Me: Yeah, I hate it...
Charming: Hmmm... (Goes back to whatever he was doing)

But it is awful. I get these gaggy heaves, where I am convinced that I am about to toss some serious cookieage. But no. No puke for me. And so, I feel terrible and yet get no real sympathy. Because vomit is a tangible sign of illness, and without spewage, other people have no proof that I feel as ill as I do.

But I must ask myself: is their sympathy really worth the throwing up I would have to participate in in order to get it?

What do you think?

The College Savings

Have you all heard of Upromise?

You earn money for your kids college by buying certain brands of groceries and specific stores.

Well, I have been a member since 2003 and it turns out that I have earned $2.56, since then! Wow, so like in 15 years, between the two of them Reenie and E can buy lunch one time at the college cafeteria!

Woo Hoo!

Lame. Lame-ola lame-da lame.

In other E news, tonight Charming was making chocolate milk and he called it "Chocolate Milkety." A shocked and appalled E says enthusiastically, "Chocolate Milk-ety? That's not it."

The Elevator Belly

E saw my belly last night and we had this conversation:

E: You got belly?
Me: Yep.
E: (puts his finger in my belly button) Here's the elevator button. (Pushes it in) Ding--dooong.

He's getting funnier.... This morning he said, "Come on, Mom. Let's follow my tummy!" He's been watching Winnie-the-Pooh lately as it is Reenie's favorite show. (Bee-bee-Pooh, she calls it.)

And I am wondering about this-- has anyone heard of the pregnancy drool? I seem to be having a problem with it lately. As soon as my head hits the pillow, the jaw drops, and the drool starts a-flowing. Is this weird? I can't remember if it happened to me before or not. Sorry to gross anyone out.

The Unbloggable

After we went to see our midwife today, I decided the kids and I needed cheeseburgers and fries. We got them, we went home, we ate them.

Exciting, eh?

Well, so sitting at home watching my kids being super cute, eating chicken nuggets and "dip", I thought of something. I thought, "I can't blog this." And yet here I am. No, what I mean is this-- every once in awhile E says something funny to me and I blog about that. Occasionally Reenie does something that I can also blog about. But their everyday cuteness, the intonations in their voices, their mannerisms. These I can never express on the blog, not because I don't want to, but rather because they cannot be conveyed properly.

These things, I guess, are only for me.

How can I for example, blog to make you understand how cute it is when Reenie responds to a question you ask her? She says this clipped little "yes" (she says yes to everything!) and does a slow nod. Do you want a baby at our house? Yes. Do you want to eat crayons? Yes. Should we all sit around like lumps today and do nothing? Yes. And then when she gets really excited she yells "Yeah!!!!" in the most unfeminine, kiddish, yet heartwearming way. But you, you the reader of my blog, will never get to experience this because you can't see her face or hear her voice.

You will never know how cute E is when he gives kisses on command. You will never know just how stubborn he can be, and feel my blood pressure rise when he says no for the fiftieth time. You will never hear one of his silly jokes-- lately he's been telling us that we're robots, and he thinks that's hysterical. You will never hear him sing his cute little songs.

Nope, some things are only for this mommy alone. And sometimes Charming.

But it's like in those early months of breastfeeding, when only mommy can do that special task. I have moments with my babies that simply cannot be shared with a single other soul. Not even Charming. And they make me feel special, and a little selfish too. And I do wish I could share, just so you could know how wonderful it is and feel those tender feelings.

But some things are just for me. Sorry about that.

Recent Events Involving Brown

I walked in on Charming cleaning E's ears with a Q-Tip.

Me: Be Careful!
C: I know how to clean ears!
Me: Well, okay, just be careful you could poke the ear drum or something.
C: I got a ton of ear wax out of Reenie.
Me: Yeah?
C: Yeah, you should have seen it. She had poo-brown ear wax. (His face here was priceless). I got like four Q-tips full!

Mmmmmmm.....

Sunday morning E was eating yogurt in my bed while I tried to catch a few extra winks before church. Charming went downstairs and started yelling at me to come see. Reenie had gotten chocolate syrup and poured it all over the floor. It was on her face, her jammies, everywhere. Her response? "Chock-it." Clearly, she was loving it.

Later that same day we had another brown mess with the girl. Charming says to me, "she has poop on her shirt." Chocolatey brown, people. "Are you sure it's poop?" I ask. "Yes," he tells me. We conclude that she put her hand in her diaper (as she has a tendency to do) found the poop, got grossed out and wiped her hands on her shirt. Gross? Yes. Grateful that Charming was home and took care of it? Most Definitely.

And I think I will never get to take a nap again. Today I put Reenie down for her nap and E was reading quietly in his bed. I went to catch some much needed pregnant mom zzzz's. I was not surprised when 45 minutes later, E says, "I need a diaper change." He was not wearing a diaper, and he had pooped in his underwear yet again. I was annoyed. I told the boy to take care of it himself and go in the bathroom. He starts to derobe on the carpet just outside the bathroom. I am still lying in bed watching this. "Go in the bathroom!" I tell him. He continues to undress and of course, poop falls on the floor. I mutter an unmentionable explitive and force myself to get up. I tell him to pick up the poop, which he does, and he then puts it in the toilet. What happened next was not one of my finer mothering moments. I thrust him in the tub and turned the shower on, as he had poop on his legs and I didn't want to wash him. He cried, and I eventually had to wipe it off him anyway. What am I supposed to do? I am on the verge with him, he is so strong willed and stubborn, and oh so very smart. He understands where the poop should go, and he has done it several times. I just can't get him to do it consistently. But I am near puking at the smell, sight and feel of poop these days and I just can't be cleaning up the three-year old's poop anymore. The 1 year old's poop is bad enough.

Well, that's our life recently. Lots of Brown. Yea for us.

Confession Time

"Mommy!!! I'm STUCK!!!!"

Yes, yes you are. But tell me, why did it occur to you that putting the tennis ball sleeve on your foot was a good idea?

In other news, my house is a bomb site. I simply can't get myself to clean it. I feel like poo, and in my good moments I feel like doing anything but cleaning. And so, a few more confessions:

1. I have of late been refusing to unload the dishwasher
It's Charming's job! And it simply is not compatible with the visual clean. Why would I take something out and put it somewhere else when it is already out of sight? Hmmm? I ask you. Why?

2. I was not as excited with the positive pregnancy result this time, as I was with the first two
Sorry, Spider. I hope when you are born and Mommy loves you to pieces that you never find out about this little tidbit of information.

3. My house will probably look like a horrible mess for at least another month
I am pretty upset about this, but what can I do? The children take up more of my energy than I can give right now, and there is no one I can really call for back-up or reinforcements.
Oh yeah, and...

4. The Christmas Decorations are still NOT down
Well, that's it. Anyone know a good maid?

Jane Eyre

Okay, so I just finished reading Jane Eyre. Good book. It took me about two nights of staying up late and a daytime of ignoring my children to finish it. I just had to get through it. I just had to know how it would turn out. I just had to know what would happen to Mr. Rochester's crazy wife so that he and Jane could be together.

That said, I am now sad it is over. Great stories, great books are like friends. Especially where this book was written in first person (love it, it's been awhile since I read one) I felt especially close to the heroine. I was really mad about the way her aunt treated her, I could almost sense her hunger while she was at Lowood School, and I was so sad for her when her sweet friend, Helen died. I felt so miserable when on her wedding day, it was revealed that Mr. Rochester was already married and that she would now have to part from the one person who she ever felt close to and safe with.

I cried at the end when Mr. Rochester was telling her how sad and miserable he had been without her.

I just love a good book, but again it is just so disappointing for it to end. Now what? I ask myself. I always think, there will never be a book so good as this again. I will never have a sweet friend speak to me from printed pages. I will have to give up reading altogether. I will have to now write a great story. And then a few months later, another book comes along, and the romance begins afresh. The rapid reading, the rush to finish it, the closing of the back cover after the final page is read and then the sorrow at it ending.

Oh well. It was good. Ms. Bronte did just such a wonderful job in making Jane very real and dear to the reader. Her joy in finding Mr. Rochester was just so-- oh! And the funny thing about reading a book such as this with a somewhat romantic theme, it always makes me feel more appreciative, and more affectionate towards my husband. Like, "Oh yes, he's my Mr. Rochester (or Mr. Darcy, or Bingley, or whoever..)" Does anyone else ever feel like this? Am I totally weird?

And what should I read next?

Said by E

Set up: I am lying on the couch while E tries to climb up, using me as his assistance.

Me: What are you doing?

E: I want to get on this.

Me: You want to get on what? The Mom Train?

E: (laughs) All Aboard!

Bank-o Crap-io Excus-o

Okay, so check this out.

Just before Christmas, Charming got a reimbursement check from his work in the amount of about $400. He signed it and took it to be deposited, but was unable to because the bank was closed. Sometime during his outing, however, he lost said check, and we forgot about it until we returned home from our vacation and started looking into the matter.

It turns out that someone else deposited it.

This is awful in oh so many ways. Well now the bank, who has a copy of the check and knows what day the check was deposited is saying they don't know who deposited it. Well it wasn't us, folks. The date the check cleared we were in Sunny Florida. But this is preposterous to me that they should not know who deposited it. Absolutely ludicrous. In a day and age of computers, databases and good recordkeeping why would they not know who deposited said check?

Charming mentioned that it was perhaps a privacy issue. I countered by saying the depositor had done something illegal. Or immoral at the very least. And though Charming has a fairly common name, this person may not even have had his same name. They wrote no account number on the back of the check or even bothered to endorse it, but it is possible that they just deposited it via the ATM machine and the bank didn't even confirm that the info matched.

But I am sure they have a confirmation number or something associated with that check and it would but take a few quick strokes of the key to pull up the information. If they don't, you can sure as heck bet that I ain't banking with them anymore.

And here's another thought-- what if the person that did this is really needy and poor and could use the money more than us? I would feel bad about this, dishonest though they may be. I would not say they were justified in it, but I would feel bad about making a big deal about $400 that would make my life easier, but not at all needed. But then, they could have been poor and used the money to buy Nikes. Then I would be mad. Well I am mad anyway. Mad at the dishonest person and mad at the bank.

Mostly I just want this matter cleared up.

That's my drama for the day. Any thoughts? What would you do?

If I Buy Your Stuff, Will You Go Away?

Okay, so door to door sales people....

I have a peep-hole now in my door, so you would think when I see an unfamiliar black man at my door that I would just not answer it, right? (I am not racist, by the way, I would be wary of an unknown white man during the day too...)

So, I am dumb and I open the door.

A salesman. Selling what? Selling this.

First he uses permanent pen on a cloth and then uses his magic cleaning spray to get it out. Then he picks up one of Charming's shoes and cleans gunk off of it with ease. Then he asks for problem spots in my house. I show him an orange carpet stain. Much of the stain comes up, but not all of it. He seems satisifed, but I am not necessarily. And yet I buy the stuff. It is concentrated and very expensive. But I buy it. Why?

Probably for the same reason I opened the door and let him in, in the first place.

And one thing I have noticed about these salesman types-- they have a constantly running mouth-- they crack less than funny jokes, and yet find themselves hilarious. It makes me feel a little awkward. And should I laugh? He doesn't seem to notice that I feel uncomfortable.

And he thought I was older than him. I of course was not. I guess he just assumed because I have two kids and a house that I must be old?

Whatever. It was weird, and yet the most exciting thing that has happened all day.

And now I have some new cleaning product, which appears to be doing a great job on my soap scum.

Photo of the Day

Yes, this is my tub. Don't worry, the black stuff on the walls is tub crayons and not mildew or something else detestable. And yes, that is underwear floating in the lower right corner. It is E's underwear, I can't remember if it was him or Reenie who put it in there, but it was Reenie who had lots of fun dropping it and flinging it all over the place.

Yesterday, while I was on the phone I heard the tub water running. I went in the bathroom to see E sitting in the tub, naked, with the water going. Apparently, he wanted an afternoon bath. So he got one. Reenie of course, wanted in on the action, so she also had a bath. This is what the tub looked like after that particular occasion.

It's me again

Okay, so it's been an hour or two since the last post and I already have more to say. Probably because I just talked to my mom and she said, "Oh I just commented on your blog post about the Rainy Eyes." So I read what she wrote. Here is what she said:

"I am so blessed to have a daughter that likes the rainy place. I too like the rainy place and miss it almost as much as you do, Stephanie. We all have to make choices when it comes to lifestyle. My living in Sp-- is the same kind of choice - cheaper housing, slower pace, less money for the same job (at least 1/3 less than Se--), it has been an adjustment as well. Just know that you are not alone in your journey and that I am always with you in thought and in loving you and missing the rainy place. Let's take a little trip to Se-- together and find that happy place again. I love you. Mom"

What a Nice Mommy.

And also, I love rain. But I do have a special place in my heart for this:


It is snowing right now. The snowman is all that is left of Sunday's snow, but I don't think he's had his V8 juice today, do you?

Pick me out a headstone... for my blog

Okay, so right now I am an ill mommy. A very ill mommy indeed. I have a head cold and morning sickness, and Utah is oh so very dry and I my eyeballs feel like... something very dry. Raisins. That's a good one.

So it isn't a very good mom day. The children are being cared for by Nanny Video and I am blogging and very soon will be on the couch for the rest of the day, convincing my three year old to bring me cheese and gatorade.

And I think about death. Death for this blog, that is. I am sure all five of you are very sad, funeral services will be held at...

No, seriously. I don't know how long I can do this. The blog has been a great outlet for me, but in many ways, I expect it to do more than it does, and this disappoints and discourages me. I feel like I don't have things to say anymore and it's oh so very time-consuming, and my life needs flesh and blood look-me-in-the-eyes-let-me-hear-your-voice readers, oh wait, I mean friends.

Not to put my whine on (again) but oh how I am struggling here in the Beehive State in my nice little house with my adorable children. I get so jealous of Charming who gets to go to an office everyday and be surrounded by-- people. Even if he doesn't talk to them (and I know he does) at least they are there, and that is so appealing to me. And I love my children, but my brain and my soul require conversation beyond, "Do you have to go potty?" and "What do you want? Oh more (fill in kid food here)." And the ever popular, "Stop doing that to your sister! Crying means she doesn't like it."

My neighborhood people are just not so very outgoing or friendly. Everyone is nice, but outgoing and friend maker types, no. And let me tell you I have tried to make friends. I tried joining a mom's club and basically found no warm reception (one lady actually said she didn't make an effort because the club had already helped her make friends.) I have done a lot, held playgroups and different things, but I just can't anymore. I just, at this point am tired (and for the next little bit, sick) and I can't get out there and hit it hard for friends anymore. And most of them don't really have the need to get to know other people because they either a. already have friends or b. live about 5 minutes from their mommys or c (and this is weird in Mormonville) have another job. I am so jealous.

I am so sorry. I am such a whiner.

So the blog, the blog may have to go, since it affects my self esteem in such weird and probably not normal ways. My family sometimes reads it, I think, but they never comment so it's like a one sided conversation into the empty air. It makes me sad and annoyed.

Changes must be made in this life of mine. I don't know what they are, and quite frankly, I have been struggling to figure that out for the past 18 months. But the blog, the blog may have to go. Or at least, it will have to come back with some cheerier topics.

Again apologies from the unhappy mommy lady.

Controversy in my Town

Okay, so I am not much for stirring up controversy-- voice my opinion when one arises, yes, but starting one--no.

That said, there has been a bit of a local controversy that I just became aware of today because I am sick and have not much better to do than read the paper. From what I can gather from the letters to the editor, this is what happened: a local, wealthy businessman who owns several car dealerships and movie theaters wouldn't show (or canceled a showing of) a homosexually themed movie, based on his moral objections. Some people started screaming bigotry, while still others praised him for his integrity.

Now, my own moral views aside, I feel it is his business right to show or not show whatever movies he wants for whatever reasons he chooses. He owns the theater, he is the boss. He did not go on a campaign against gay people, he just said no to the flick. What's the big deal? (And why do people not know how to differentiate between hating the sin and not the sinner? If I don't like the fact that my mom (or whoever) does whatever, does that mean I don't love my mom? Of course not.)

People are entitled to their opinions, and for the most part can choose their own behavior based on their beliefs. This business owner can do whatever he wants. He can show ten X-rated movies a day, or he can only show Disney flicks if that's what he wants. He is choosing the kind of establishment he wants to run and the kind of clientele he wants to attract just like the owner of a local bar, kiddie gym or family style restaurant might do. I just don't understand why he is getting the flack he's getting just for running his business the way he wants to. And if some other theater decided not to show a G-Rated film because they didn't morally agree with it, I wouldn't care! If it was a movie about my life, and they decided not to show it, I would not make such a big deal out of it, I might not go to that theater, but I wouldn't cry intolerance!

And if people just have to see this film that this man is not showing at his theater, I am sure they can find it somewhere else. They don't have to go to his theater-- that's their right as consumers and they have choices. Just as he has rights and choices as a business owner.

E and the Piglet

Is this not the cutest thing ever?

Monday Morning Confessions

Whew! It's been awhile...

1. I love having kids in our bed.
Not to be confused with making kids or delivering kids in our bed... No seriously, I love going on vacation and having to share a bed with the children. They are so sweet when they are asleep and as long as they don't kick, I get a better rest with them there. However we do not have a huge bed so therefore-

2. I want a King Size Bed
We have a Queen now, which is a good size for two adults. Good even for two adults and a baby. Not good for two adults and a squiggly, wiggly toddler. Really not good for two adults and two toddlers.

3. I think we will be putting off getting a dog for a bit
Okay, so here's the deal on this one. We went to the Humane Society on Saturday and there were no good dogs there. E was terrified of the big, smelly, barky dogs and they both loved the kitties. Kitties, however do not like my children, so that is not really an option (even though it was suggested by Charming). But, after this experience, Charming said: "We should probably get a puppy." At this point, I am in NO kind of condition to be dealing with that. I can't even poop train my kid, and I do not want to be getting up at night with a dog, when I am going to have to be doing that with a baby in 8 months. So there you go, the dream has died. Not really, but it has for now.

4. I love the idea of a home birth with a midwife, but this time around we are doing the hospital thing
Is this totally hypocritical? I am seeing a certified nurse midwife, if that helps. Charming and I just both felt impressed that we shouldn't take the plunge into home birth this time around, for whatever reason, we don't really know. But I have fast labor, and I asked a local midwife about that situation, and she said, "Well, births are usually unattended because they didn't call soon enough, and usually with a fast labor, there isn't time for complications." Does that reassure you? Didn't do it for me.

5. Our Christmas cards are sitting on my dresser, ready to be mailed
Yes, this is awful and yes, I realize that Christmas was nearly a month ago. My decorations (including my tree) are still up, too. Shocked? It will probably be February before I get them down. (And no, it's not just because I am pregnant.)

A bit

E is helping me type this and he wanted BLUE letters. He just had a traumatic experience where he turned on the television and it was very, very LOUD.

khgdweyhvxznuph (E typed this then he said, "spells.... what does it spell, mom?")

And my children love Les Miserables, apparently. Yesterday, E picked up the 1400 page non-llustrated novel and began casually flipping through it. Then this morning Reenie also picked it up. She was apparently upset about the lack of pictures, so she began to create some....

That's it. I was going to show you my new do, but none of the pics turned out well enough. Forgive my vanity.

The Albertson's Store

Well, I managed to drag my nauseated body off of the couch today long enough to take a trip to the grocery store. The Albertson's Store, where many a great 10 for 10 deal was to be had.

Here is the thing about going to the grocery store with two small kids-- careful planning is everything. For one, you must either park extremely close to the front door or near a cart return. Today I opted for a cart return, not close spot, which turned out to be less helpful as the bag boy helped me out in the end.

Okay, the second thing you must do with two kids is get the special cart. We went in the first set of doors and there was no special-looks-like-a-real-car-with-two-seatbelts-and two-steering-wheels-so-the-kids-will-stay-happy-and-entertained cart. I panicked, but pulled it together. As we made the loooong walk to the other set of doors, I silently prayed that 1. a second set of doors existed and 2. that there would be a special cart there. There was and we were saved.

Now about the special cart... I don't want to be a whiner, but-- I feel burdened enough at the grocery store with two kids that I do not need a cart that looks and sounds like a flipping eighteen-wheeler and requires my full body weight to force it up and down the aisles. Obviously, we need the special cart or one child would have to walk in order to fit all the groceries into the cart. I just hate how the thing just screams at the other customers "HEEEEYYY!!! I've got KIDS here! And here I come with my monster-truck cart! If you aren't going to move, at least look at me funny when you hear me coming!" Man! Oh well. Moving on.

Third important thing about the grocery store with kids-- map out your trip up the aisles with care. If you get the cookie too soon, they'll be bawling by the end, but if you don't get it soon enough they'll be hounding you for it. And you MUST GET THE COOKIE. Also, I learned today not to go through the toy aisle if you can help it. At least don't go there first. My kids don't necessarily beg for stuff, but they do beg to keep revisiting the toy aisle.

Lastly, if at all possible, avoid going down the same aisle more than once. They sense it. They become angry and start poking each other. And it takes longer. Be as fast as you can in the grocery store with toddlers.

And mostly I am posting to let you know of my shopping victory at the Albertson's store. By paying careful attention to sale items via the circular ad and by bringing a few coupons from my newspaper I spent $92 but SAVED 57 dollars, people. Woo-HOO!!! Get this too-- with my coupons and the 10 for 10 sale, one of my boxes of Life cereal was $0.25 and two of my boxes of Quaker Oatmeal were $0.50 a piece. Rock on.

Printastic!

Our new printer is a little bit dramatic...

She makes a lot of noise while she "warms up"(I guess that's what she's doing). She takes for flipping ever, people, I guess she wants everything to be "just right." And then out of nowhere-- BAM!!! She grabs the paper loudly and thrusts it forth as she transforms its blankness into a pattern of black (or colored!) characters.

It scares me a little. She's a little overenthusiastic. And yes, I was startled when she finally decided to print something after her lengthy preparation.

Good Printer, though. Highly Recommended.

Give Me All Your Advice Wednesday: Feel Good Pregnancy Thoughts

No, I am not starting a tradition, I just need some ideas...

Okay, so here is me last night. I wake up around 1 am feeling, umm... icky. Not really nauseated, just gross. So I lie? lay? in bed thinking of what to do to make myself feel better. Rice sounded really good, but we didn't have any made up (note to self: make some rice and put it in the fridge) so then I thought, perhaps Rice Chex. So I go downstairs take a swig of Powerade (oh so good, but be careful as too much can upset the stomach) and pour myself a bowl of Chex. I then sit on the couch wrapped up in a big blanket and pathetically eat my cereal. As I sit there, I think, sitting up makes me feel better, so maybe I'll find someplace where I can sleep not laying down.

So I go upstairs and make myself semi-comfortable on the recliner chair in the kids room. I still couldn't sleep, my tummy was all churny and I kept burping Rice Chex. I then moved myself to the bathroom, hoping I could vomit and go to sleep, but it was not going to happen. So I climb back in bed with Charming at which point I hear a door close and footsteps in the hall. My first thought was, whoa, all the adults are in here. But it was just E. He was downstairs looking bewildered and he informed me he wanted to sleep in our bed.

I finally fell asleep at 2 am, and was periodically slapped by a three year old the rest of the night.

Why this story? I want your advice. What are some things that worked for you to feel good during pregnancy? I know there really isn't very much, but I just hate waking up like I did last night, so I could use your ideas.

So what have you got?

To Lighten the Mood

Some (hopefully) funny things:

1. Someone has found my site by doing a search for Princess of Puke. (Hey, I found it amusing)

2. Yesterday while trying to take a nap with E, E started saying softly, "Mommy's Asleep, E's Asleep, Reenie's Asleep, Daddy's Asleep..." (He pasued and then said in a high squeaky voice) "Ashlapoopargahwah!"

3. Last night at dinner Charming said, "all right" to which E responded, "trot out the ladies." (It's from Emperor's New Groove.) E then said, "Yikes, yikes yikes..."

4. Last week I avoided a near shopping cart automible disaster. I had unloaded my groceries and my cart started slowly rolling away, I figured I had it, so I shut my trunk. And then I saw the oncoming car. And, no joke, the rest was in slow motion. I dove for the cart which was about and inch from the silver sedan (A Honda? I don't know) when I rescued it. Fortunately, the nice old man just smiled and waved at me.

Again with the Sentiments

Well, there are days like today, and there are days like, well, today actually.

There are days like today when my neighbor calls me up randomly and offers to watch my kids because I am pregnant, and I feel like I love living here and I never want to move away.

And then there are days like today when I call up the Daring One on the phone and afterwards feel like I would give anything to live in the Rainy Place. I want to drop in semi-uninvited to the Daring One's condo and sit on her sofa while Reenie and E play with Laylee and Magoo, and we chat about random nothings.

There are days like today, and there are days like today.

I am sorry that this is becoming a theme lately. It must be the winter, and the fact that it's been almost a year since we moved. And I am pregnant and hormonal. I know (logically) that if we moved back to the Rainy Place that things would not be perfect. When I moved there the first time I missed Provo, you know. Although, missing Provo was a passing, "I don't have friends here yet" kind of feeling. Missing the Rainy Place is an ache. A pain that goes away, but always seems to come back from time to time to remind me of what I can't have.

I think I am going to start planning a Spring Break to the Rainy Place so I can get some closure on this nonsense.

Rainy Eyes

So it has been almost a year since we moved away from the Rainy Place. It makes me a little sad still-- moving away from there really has been a grieving process for me. I think it's because I am a blue. (If you aren't familiar with the color code go here.) But basically, in this context, it means I am sentimental and get very attached to people, places and things. And I grew up in the Rainy Place-- my Mom is a blue, and she made sure we never had to move. (We switched housing, but never schools). Wonderful, blessed woman.

You know I have never experienced real grief when a person died-- either because no one super close to me has gone or because of how I feel about the afterlife-- but I have grieved for the Rainy Place. Because my dream died. Grief. Deep sadness and sense of loss.

And yet, looking back at the past year, I am amazed at how far I have come since then. I do miss that Rainy Place, but I am not having a bawl-fest every day like I did when we first came. I have met some really great people here and I am a lot more content. We have a house like we could never have had in Washington. I have learned to be more outgoing and go after things a little more. I am having another child! Clearly, my life has stabilized.

I am a little sad about something else right now, though. A something that I should be happy about, and it is this: Reenie has decided she no longer wants to sleep in her crib. She wants a bed. How do I know this? She monkey grabs me when I try to lower her into the crib and lets go easily when I put her in E's or Mommy and Daddy's bed. I should be excited, right? You know, she didn't sleep in that thing until she was more than 6 months old? She used to always just sleep in her baby seat-- so she really hasn't even been in there a year. Yeah, that's right because it's been almost a year since we moved back to Utah and we didn't even set it up for a month, at least... but now I digress...

The funny thing is, I don't know if I am more upset that she's growing up, or upset because no one is sleeping in her girly little nursery bedroom. (She'll be sleeping with E until her mattress gets here on Monday.) I have always been so worried about not rushing her to do things like I did with E, and yet, she seems to be the one stepping forward before I am ready. (Except for the nursing-- I was definitely done). I guess I just can't win. She's her own little person. Different from me or Charming, and different from E.

Anyway, please forgive the sentimentality. Just some thoughts I have been thinking.

The Morning Show with Reenie and E

Reenie said her first semi-sentence this morning at 5 am! The conversation went like this:

Me: Okay, Reenie, it's time to get back in your crib and go to sleep.

Reenie: (Does a monkey grip on me)

Me: Come on, honey. Why don't you want to go to bed?

Reenie: Seep wif Dahee. (Translation: I want to sleep with Daddy. In your bed, please.)

Me: You want to sleep with Daddy?

Reenie: Yeth. (Yes)

So then this morning Charming sends her in to me saying she needs a diaper change. She walks in grabbing at her diaper saying "Poop."

So I change her, and while I am changing her, E and I have this conversation:

E: Eeeww, poopy.

Me: Yep.

E: Got weiner?

Me: No, Reenie doesn't have a weiner. She has... umm... girl parts.

E: Eeeew! Yucky!!! ( I would hope he meant the poop...)

So that's been our morning. An exciting day to come, I am sure!

No Nausea Happy Happy Resolutions

The Daring One has asked me to "stop barfing and post again," so here I am.

I am actually not barfing. In fact, aside from a few stretching pains and mild nausea, I don't even really feel pregnant. My appetite is voracious, but if I had not seen that positive test, I think I still might not believe it. Now you may hate me for this "easiness of the way", but please don't-- it probably means I'll have a fussy newborn or something else equally unfun. That, and if this pregnancy follows the pattern of the previous two, I will probably have some bedrest time near the end.

Well, so we got back from Florida last night. Despite having a cold and a stuffy ear the entire trip, I had a wonderful time there. Lots of people, lots of stuff, and everytime a mess was made, it got magically cleaned up-- and usually not by me. I was never lonely and the kids got lots of attention.

That said-- I am Oh. So. Glad. To be HOME. When I walked into our clean house last night I inhaled the new paint smell that often returns after a trip, and just felt so happy. I love, love, love, LOVE our house. We are so blessed, I can't believe that I have ever had times where I have thought our house was not as big or as good as someone elses. It is just right for us, and I am so grateful to have it. Happy, happy, happy. It's a mess again today, but I am so thrilled to be able to make messes in it.

And now, to keep myself more accountable, a few of my New Year's Goals and Resolutions:

1. Play with my kids and do housework BEFORE I blog-- this may also mean no internet during the day, sorry...
2. Finish the novel I started for NANOWRIMO
3. Eat healthier-- IE more vegetables, one at lunch, two at dinner
4. Have family scripture study every day
5. Get myself to bed earlier, so I can get up earlier and start my day better
6. Serve my friends better (For the Mormons-- better visiting teaching)
7. Record a CD (I say this one every year, by the way, and have not done it yet)
8. Have more financial self control (We do pretty well-- no consumer debt, but I could do better and we could SAVE more)
9. Take one "fun for the kids" outing/field trip a month
10. In general, do more fun stuff with the kids

Not too daunting I don't think.

And by the way, Charming said we could look into getting a dog!!! Yea!!!!!

Communication Immaturity: Monday's Confession

During my senior year of high school, I was in a play called "Once Upon A Mattress." It's a Princess and the Pea story and the basic premise is this: no one in the kingdom can get married before the prince does, but the prince's mother (the queen) is very, very picky about who her son should marry. This is how the play justifies the whole premarital sex issue-- people CAN"T get married, so they well, you know, umm.... you get it.
Anyway, my character, Lady Larkin, a lady of the court falls pregnant. The boy who played my, err.. lover, was rather a gross, nerdy fellow. Very nice, but not someone I would ever be in love with let alone, well, you know. And he wore funny stage makeup, so his overly large eyes and red lips were.. well, I digress. So anyway, I had this line where I tell him about my 'situation' and it was this: "I'm going to have a baby." This was the hardest, weirdest, most uncomforable line for me to say. I didn't quite know how to say it, and it never sounded quite right.
I have been having problems with that line ever since.
When I found out I was pregnant with E, my husband and knew beforehand that I probably was. He went with me to buy the test and when it came up with a positive result, I think I said something eloquent like, "Yep, pregnant." When I called my parents I said, "How would you like to be grandparents?" When I found out with Reenie, the presentation was similar.
I've never been able to say it like the way it was worded in that play. I could never say "I am going to have a baby." It just sounds weird. Ad I could never be all cutesy and surprise Charming with it, either.
And this time when I found out, I just took the pregnancy test and then told Charming, "well, go look for yourself" and then he did the announcing. I told my mom flat out, "I'm pregnant." I made my dad guess. What? You didn't know there was a this time? Well there is, and this is how I am announcing it to all of you. I am pregnant. I am going to have another baby.
(Pause, so you can all catch your breath, and pull your lower lip off the keyboard.)
Never would have thought it, eh? And I don't want to read anyone snickering about how I said I was going to wait awhile. Sometimes God has something to say about things...
Ironically, I have never taken a positive pregnancy test at home. I am always on vacation. In fact, I took a test just before we left for this vacation and it was negative. Wild.