I have a friend who has been married for over a decade, is still young, and is childless much to her own pain and sorrow. It always makes me sad for her and I never know what to say and when I found out I was pregnant I was scared to tell her. And I wonder why it is that she who wants children so badly, should not be allowed to have them, when other people who maybe don't want children or who don't really care have them so easily and sometimes mistreat them. I just struggle with this so much as I can't understand why life is so unfair sometimes. Here's me white knuckling the journey to having a third child, and here's so and so struggling with fertility.
I guess I just have to trust that Heavenly Father is aware of everyone and knows what's best and in the end has a greater plan than any of us can fathom.
The other night as I lay next to my children trying to help them get back to sleep, I thought of my childless friend. I thought of all the things that she can do because she does not have kids. And I asked myself the important question-- "would I trade my kids so I could have those things?"
And of course the answer was no.
Even though I am rarely put together, even though my house is general chaos most of the time, and even though I am putting many of my own dreams on hold, I would never ever trade this life and these children for anything. Even though they are my greatest trial, they bring me such joy and they are so incredibly wonderful.
And I continue to wish and pray and hope for my childless friends out there. I desperately wish for you to be blessed with what I have. But if you never are, know that God still loves you and He sees the whole picture. And I know that I can not know your pain, but that He can and the Savior can. And even though I don't understand why we are all given such different challenges int his life, He does. And though I trust that God is in charge and knows everything, I sometimes wish I could have a little glimpse so I could understand things a little better myself.
And I am stopping my religiousy tangent now. I just wanted to get that off my chest. Something more lighthearted next post.
6 comments:
This post really touched me. I went through infertility and it was so hard. I learned children are not a reward for good behavior or righteous living. But it is hard to understand. I have friends going through it still. I have made it to the other side and wonder, why does it take some so long? What is the purpose? The thing I do know - HF knows each one of us and is very aware of our trials. I know there are many times He cried with me and many times He held me. A mortal body is a blessing, but sometimes afflictions happen as the result of being mortal, which are so hard to understand. Thank you for being such a good friend to your friend.
Thanks, girl. You are very generous with your thoughts and your love. I appreciate it.
Have a brother-in-law and a sister-in-law who suffer from this problem (or at least we assume they do). It's one of those things I wish they would tell us, so we can be sensitive to that. Instead they just put it off as they don't like kids or or waiting for the "perfect" time, which as a parent I don't think there is one. They avoided us and our first born for months on end, because I'm sure it caused them some pain, us being married only 2 years and getting pregnant almost right away, and them being married 4 years longer than us. It was hard for us to be sensitive to that, because we didn't know why they would avoid us and what the problem was. I know several people that "seem" to get pregnant when they husband looks at them a certain way, while others never have luck.
All of us are given our trials that I think sometimes hurt and need to grieved just as much as this trial. The hubby and I have been dealt a different set of cards than most of our other friends and family, and seeing them have what we or at least I so greatly desire, pains me, and have shed countless tears over it.
Life never turns out the way we want or expect it to. It's hard for me sometimes to understand why things happen, especially when Heavenly Father tells us to make certain decision and yet the road is hard and painful. But at least we made it through it.
Good one I am all teary and the screen is blurry. I am going to have to charge you a crying fee now. Thanks for posting.
Very wonderful and thoughtful post. I too know someone who suffered infertility and it is a hard thing to watch someone you care about go through. It is wonderful that she has a friend like you.
That is such a hard situation to deal with. I think so many of us have gone through that. I like you serious.
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