Recent Events Involving Brown

I walked in on Charming cleaning E's ears with a Q-Tip.

Me: Be Careful!
C: I know how to clean ears!
Me: Well, okay, just be careful you could poke the ear drum or something.
C: I got a ton of ear wax out of Reenie.
Me: Yeah?
C: Yeah, you should have seen it. She had poo-brown ear wax. (His face here was priceless). I got like four Q-tips full!

Mmmmmmm.....

Sunday morning E was eating yogurt in my bed while I tried to catch a few extra winks before church. Charming went downstairs and started yelling at me to come see. Reenie had gotten chocolate syrup and poured it all over the floor. It was on her face, her jammies, everywhere. Her response? "Chock-it." Clearly, she was loving it.

Later that same day we had another brown mess with the girl. Charming says to me, "she has poop on her shirt." Chocolatey brown, people. "Are you sure it's poop?" I ask. "Yes," he tells me. We conclude that she put her hand in her diaper (as she has a tendency to do) found the poop, got grossed out and wiped her hands on her shirt. Gross? Yes. Grateful that Charming was home and took care of it? Most Definitely.

And I think I will never get to take a nap again. Today I put Reenie down for her nap and E was reading quietly in his bed. I went to catch some much needed pregnant mom zzzz's. I was not surprised when 45 minutes later, E says, "I need a diaper change." He was not wearing a diaper, and he had pooped in his underwear yet again. I was annoyed. I told the boy to take care of it himself and go in the bathroom. He starts to derobe on the carpet just outside the bathroom. I am still lying in bed watching this. "Go in the bathroom!" I tell him. He continues to undress and of course, poop falls on the floor. I mutter an unmentionable explitive and force myself to get up. I tell him to pick up the poop, which he does, and he then puts it in the toilet. What happened next was not one of my finer mothering moments. I thrust him in the tub and turned the shower on, as he had poop on his legs and I didn't want to wash him. He cried, and I eventually had to wipe it off him anyway. What am I supposed to do? I am on the verge with him, he is so strong willed and stubborn, and oh so very smart. He understands where the poop should go, and he has done it several times. I just can't get him to do it consistently. But I am near puking at the smell, sight and feel of poop these days and I just can't be cleaning up the three-year old's poop anymore. The 1 year old's poop is bad enough.

Well, that's our life recently. Lots of Brown. Yea for us.